That Pivotal Point
by immyownsuperman
Summary: Somethings up with Abby, and Gibbs is trying to figure out. When he finds Abby alone one night, he realizes something terrible is wrong. What he finds out breaks his heart. Rated T for now may change. Mentions of Rape.
1. Soulmates Prologue

Gibbs looked down at the photograph that lay in his desk draw, the one of Shannon and Kelly. He had loved them more then he would ever love anyone again, he had promised himself that, but something Abby told him made him rethink everything he once thought. She had said, 'There's only one person for someone, like a soul mate, except there's exceptions, not everyone finds their soul mate, so they settle for there half soul mates, but there will always only be one'. She had said that to McGee, right after she rejected a dinner date. She claimed that her soul mate was still out there, that she wasn't going to settle. Maybe what she said was true, and that he had half soul mates still. Shannon had been his soul mate, he was sure of it, at least he thought he was. Would he ever truly know?

* * *

Gibbs!" Abby's voice entered his ear, and he jumped slightly at her tone. He turned toward the goth forensic science, and smirked gently at her offit. She wore blue jeans, converse, and a plain black tee. Not exactly Abby authentic. There was definitely something off today but who knows, maybe she just forgot to do her laundry.

"Yeah Abs?" Gibbs asked slowly sliding his glasses off his face. He studied her intently, trying to guess what she wanted.

"I'm taking some time off..." She grumbled. She tried to keep her voice at the same tone, but Gibbs heard it crack. There was something wrong here, something was going on.

"Why?" He asked. She hesitated slightly, but she quickly recovered. Her eyes came down to study his face, just as he had done with hers.

"I'm not feeling very well." She said. Gibbs could see right through her lie, and he wanted to call her out on it. He couldn't do that if he did she would never trust him again. Her eyes were pleading at him to just leave it be, to let her leave. Something was definitely wrong, but he was stopped from asking her what. It was her body language. Her arms were folded across her chest in a very closed manner, and her body slumped slightly. She didn't want anyone bugging her right now. He had learned over the years to just leaver her be.

"Okay...I'll clear it with Vance." Gibbs said, and she just walked off without a word. Her eyes had been distant, and he just wanted to reach out and pull her into a hug. Yes, that was very un-Gibbs, but he loved that goth scientist. More then he knew. He reached for his glasses once again sliding them on his face. He returned to the paperwork, trying to push Abby to the side of his mind. He was soon lost in the case they had been working on, his mind slowly calculating all the evidence. He didn't show it, but he knew quite a few of the terms in Abby's evidence reports. He had been studying, just so he could keep up, but of course he would never take away the satisfaction she got from explaining things to him.

Gibbs worked late into the night, until he had come to a conclusion in his head. By the time he fully pulled his mind away from the case to check the time he was shocked. It was already midnight, and he hadn't made one coffee run. Obviously he had been very distracted by many things to even think about it. Coffee helped him run, but there was one other thing that helped him run. Worrying about Abby. As idiotic as that may sound, she always helped him keep working well into the night. Something about calculating her in another part of his brain, sometimes when he was finished with the case he would realize he had come up with what was wrong with Abby. His brain could multitask, he wasn't dumb like everyone seemed to think.

With a sigh, Gibbs shut down his computer and walked towards the elevator. He listened as rain started to fall, and stopped. His eyes fell on the window, and little drops if water started to appear. He smiled slightly, and started back towards the elevator. It arrived and he stepped in. His thoughts still drifting to Abby; he made his way out of the building. She would come around she always did.

* * *

Abby had been driving around for hours when it started to rain. She was running on empty with the gas, and knew she needed to get home. Her eyes searched the road for a sign of where she was. When she finally found something she realized she was never going to make it home. She was in the middle of nowhere. She pulled her hearse to the side, and shivered slightly at the cool night. She crawled into the back seat in a search for a blanket. She only found a jacket that had been left in here, and her heart cringed when she realized whose it was. Gibbs had lent her this jacket one night when she was cold, and it still smelled of him.

"Okay, burt let's bunker down for the night." She said pulling the stuffed animal close. She was to ashamed to call anyone this late, she would in the morning. Besides this was kinda on the road to work, she would say she just took the back way, but she ran out of gas on her way to work. That was completely reasonable right? She shivered once more from the cold. It was a very cold night, but she would make it through it. She laid there for ten minutes until sleep finally took her over; her body still shaking. Ten minutes later a familiar truck came trudging down the road, stopping once the man inside spotted the hearse.

* * *

Gibbs had a icky feeling as he had left the base, suddenly taking a road he'd only drove a few times before. Something told him that this was the way he needed to take. His mind keep floating back to Abby, and he wasn't sure why. He had promised himself that he would not think about the goth, but something inside him wasn't right. The way she had acted lately wasn't right. He keep telling himself that it was just Abby being Abby. Maybe, she was having troubles with McGee again. She had told him off, and he seemed to always get depressed once a girl did that to him.

Gibbs' mind seemed to drift farther into his thoughts, until a sense brought him back. Without any reason he looked to the side of the road, spotting the familiar hearse that Abby owned. He pulled the truck off to the side squinting through the rain that had gotten increasingly worse. He felt the bleak coldness of the air, and panicked. What if Abby was out wondering in it? He reached for the flashlight that was in the passenger seat, and jumped out without a second thought. He jogged slightly to the hearse, fetching the extra key she had given him

"Abby..." Gibbs murmured spotting the woman herself in the back seat. Her body shook, and he couldn't believe that she decided to stay in this weather and not call anyone. He unlocked the door to the backseat, expecting Abby to awake like she normally did whenever he got near. She laid there, the color from her face drained slightly, and a fear set in his heart. He noticed that she had tried to wrap up in one of his jackets and that brought a little happiness to him. He reached in and pull his girl out of the hearse, and regrettably into the rain. She shivered against him as he relocked the hearse.

"Gibbs..." She whispered her eyes still closed. It was if she could sense that he was there. He helped her to the truck, her body limp and shivering. He pulled open the door and helped her into the passenger side. He shut the door, quickly jogging to the other side of the truck. His feet slid slightly, and he had to slow down to stop from falling. Once he made it to the drivers side he climbed in, and he searched for a blanket he knew he keep stashed under the seat. Once his hand touch the soft fabric he pulled it out, and he wrapped it tenderly around Abby's shoulders. With that he took off in pursuit for his house.

* * *

**The first chapter.**

**Tell me if I should continue.**

**(:**

**Please review.  
**


	2. That Pivotal Point

**Thanks so much everyone for the reviews!!! (: Please keep that up! I hope I'm doing well.**  


* * *

There comes a moment in your life, were nothing and no one around you matters. The world seems to be falling around you, and you have to fight your way through a bleak nothing. You feel useless, and that no one could ever want you. You feel like just because someone saw through your charade that everyone else can to. Nightmares invade your mind every night, and you wake up screaming for someone whose not there. Your hands grasp into the thin air around you, and even a slight shadow makes your body tremble with fear. You can feel the sweat, and you just seem to be stuck in that one spot. Abby doesn't know what to call it, but shes stuck. She likes to think of it as _That Pivotal Point_.

* * *

Gibbs wasn't quite sure at one time he was actually able to settle down in his bedroom, all he knew was that it had been a while since he had put Abby in guest room. He had stood in the doorway, watching, for a long time. Her color had eventually made its way back onto her face, but she still didn't awake. He figured she must be exhausted. He had left her, hoping that maybe she would be better in the morning. Now she really was sick, but what had she been doing on that road in the first place?

The bleak air that filled the room was only a painful reminder of what he had found earlier. His heart still ached for her. She hadn't called him, just crawled in the back and tried to sleep through it. Something was wrong, and he had to figure it out. He knew it was going to take time for her to open up. He knew with a few kind words, and maybe a hug she would open up. She could tell him anything, and she knew that. He closed his eyes in some hope of getting some sleep.

A few minutes later a blood boiling scream made Gibbs sit up in his bed. The scream set a deep fear down in his stomach. He struggled to get out of his bed, only to get tangled in the sheets. He tried to free his legs, and the screaming didn't die down. If it was possible, it seemed to get more intense. His mind was focused on one thing, and that was getting to Abby as soon as he was freed. It didn't take long after that, and soon he was running towards the guest bedroom. His hands hit the wall as he propelled himself into the room. She lay their her eyes shut tightly, and her hands clenching the sheets tightly.

"Gibbs! Gibbs help me!" She shouted out as she tossed and turned as if she was fighting off someone. She reached into the cold air, and Gibbs finished the length to her bed. He grabbed her hand, putting it on his heart. Suddenly her body slumped over as she relaxed, and her eyes slowly drifted open. Gibbs could see the tears that leaked from her eyes. He slowly leaned down and kissed the bottom of her eye.

"Abby, I'm here." He whispered in her ear.

"Gibbs..." Abby whimpered throwing her arms around him. She hugged his body closely to hers. She could feel his heart beat, and hers slowed down. She cried into his shirt, leaving spots on it. Her hands gripped his shirt as she cried. The world seemed to fall around her, and she only cared about the man she clenched to. This man was the only one she wanted to comfort her. If anyone else came near her, she would be scared half to death. Gibbs needed to know what was going on with her, and she was pretty sure she was ready.

Gibbs slowly moved onto the bed, holding the goth in his arms. He could almost feel the one tear that had escaped his own eye. He didn't want to see his girl like this. He loved her, and probably more then he knew. He needed her, and would hurt the person that was giving her these nightmares. He knew it had to be a person. The last time she acted like this was with Mikel. Not even this bad, and Abby wasn't scared of anything else more then someone who threatened to hurt herself or anyone on the team. He intertwined their fingers together, holding her tightly to his chest.

"Abby, I need to know." Gibbs said kissing her forehead. He heard her sigh at those words, and could still feel her shaking.

"I-I-I'm scared." She stuttered out trying to hide the crack in her voice. Moonlight shifted to her face, and he could see that more tears had gathered there.

"Don't be, while I'm around nothing will get you."

"I was attacked..." She whispered cautiously. He could tell that she wasn't completely threw with what she was going to say. Something else had happened, and if her getting attacked wasn't enough to provoke him the next thing was going to set him on a rampage. "I was raped..." She added even more quiet. She felt Gibbs' body suddenly tense up, and she could feel his muscles tighten in a protective manner. He pulled her closer, and she could feel his heart speed up.

"Come with me." Gibbs said slowly getting out of the bed. He helped her out and gently supported her weight. They walked down the stairs, and Gibbs stood her next to the couch. "How long ago?"

"I don't remember...maybe four days." She said looking at the floor. That made sense, about the time she had started to flinch at the tiny things. She had been tired, wearing a lot of bigger clothing, not as bubbly as usually, and no music. Why hadn't he caught this before?

"Show me what he did to you." Gibbs said lifting her chin so that her eyes met his. She hesitated gently, but shook her head at him. She didn't want to show the cuts and bruises that covered her body. She didn't want to show the major gash that covered her stomach from when she had tried to run. He would be so angry. "Abbs, please." He said softer relaxing his muscles a bit. Abby nodded this time and slowly lifted her shirt over her head so she stood in her sports bra.

Gibbs looked at the pale skin that was now covered in black and blue bruises, and cuts. He saw the bandage that covered her stomach, from where the man had tore some skin. He ran his hand over some of the bruises, the heat soothing them slightly. He reached to uncover the bandage, and Abby suddenly tensed up. She let him slowly tear it away, but looked to the side as he laid eyes on the damage. She felt the bandage placed back on, then his hands left her skin.

"Go back to bed." He said leading her to the bedroom and then descending down the stairs again. He picked up the phone and dialed Tony's number. Someone was going to pay for this.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Sorry for such a horrible thing...**

**(: Please Review**

**Sorry for horrible writing but a good idea right??  
**


	3. Wishing

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed! I appreciate the feedback so much (:**

* * *

Basically there's so many things that can go on in your life that make everything so much harder. You can always dream of a better world but it doesn't make it so. Then you can think that your life is meant to be the way it is, and nothing can ever get better. There can be many emotions around you, and you can only wish to understand. You can even wish for some of your worst nightmares to go away. Nothing ever really works though. We all still wish though, even though it never works. Wishing is what keeps hope alive.

* * *

The world is dark.

What am I supposed to do? Is there anyone here for me? Why am I so scared?

I have to run.

No one is going to help me.

I keep seeing his face.

No, he can't violate me again. He ruined my life, and I can't let him come near me again. I can't let him touch me.

Gibbs must be so ashamed that I didn't fight back harder.

He cut me. He bruised me. He scarred me.

I can never be normal again.

No one will ever want me.

I'm damaged.

Why can't I stop seeing his face.

His smell.

His voice.

His touch.

Someone help me.

* * *

Abby opened her eyes to the feel of someone gripping her arms done. She screamed at the top of her lungs, flashing back to the incident. She fought the man, and one her arms got free. She heard the slap of flesh as her hand hit someones face. She heard the gasp, and saw the man wince. The man wasn't who she thought it was. It was someone much more familiar. Someone who she trusted.

"Abby...shhh..." Tony's voice entered her ear. One of his hands rubbed her cheek gently, and she broke into sobs. Her whole body shook as she let the tears flow. The fear she had bottled up in here slowly leaked out. "Oh god..." she heard him whisper.

"I'm so sorry Tony." Abby said in between sobs. She saw him shake his head.

"Don't be Abby."

"I'm so damaged."

"No your not." Tony whispered gently. He pulled her close to his body. She felt his warmth, and now realized that she was wrapped up in a hoodie. She wasn't in the guest bedroom anymore either. She was somewhere she recognized as Gibbs' bedroom. A place she had spent the night in when Mikel had been on the loose. She felt comforted by the smells.

"Gibbs?" Abby asked wiping the tears away from her face.

"He'll be back later." Tony said simply. He gently ran his thumb over her cheek. She closed her eyes, and tried to catch her breath. She had to figure out a way to get there nightmares to go away. She couldn't spend the rest of her life shrouded in fear.

"Can you call him? I want to talk to him." Abby said trying to hide the fear from her voice. Tony nodded gently and reached over for his cell-phone. He dialed Gibbs' number and passed the phone to Abby.

* * *

Gibbs was in the FBI building when his phone rang. Fornell sat in front of him, as they discussed what they were going to do. Gibbs hadn't answered any of his calls so far, but he picked up his phone to check who it was. DiNozzo flashed on the caller I.D and he felt the need to answer it. He put his pointer finger up at Fornell, signaling he only need a moment.

"Yeah Gibbs." He answered in his traditional manner.  
[Hey.] This voice wasn't Tony's, it was Abby's.  
"Abbs, you okay?" He asked suddenly worried that something happened.  
[I'm fine, I just was wondering what your doing.] She said. The curiosity was obvious on her voice.  
"I'm with Fornell."  
[When are you coming back?] Abby asked and the fear was very evident on her voice.  
"Soon." Gibbs said sighing gently.  
[Okay, Me and Tony are going out to eat. So don't worry if I'm not here when you get back.] She said, and a little happiness entered her voice.  
"Okay..." He hesitated slightly.  
[Don't worry, Bye Gibbs.] She said cutting their phone call short.  
"Bye." He said and the phone cut off. Something was obviously troubling her.

"How she doing?" Fornell asked. He popped a peanut in his mouth and leaned forward slightly.

"She sounded okay for now. Her and DiNozzo are going out to eat." Gibbs said, and jealously leaked right into his voice. He wanted to be the one that was going to take Abby out. No it wasn't a date but still.

"She'll be okay Jethro." Fornell said. Gibbs just nodded his head at that. He sure hoped that maybe she would be okay. He loved her to much to lose her, either physically or mentally.

* * *

**Well there you go.**

**Short and sweet.**

**This was basically a dabble chapter while I think of were I'm going with this.**

**I take all suggestions with an open mind.**

**Please Review!**

**- Josie  
**


	4. Your Worst Nightmare

**Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review! It is much appreciated!

* * *

**

You can be close to your worst nightmare and no one could know.

* * *

It was late when Abby and Tony finally made it back to Gibbs' house. She had actually smiled a few times, and even though she still had a deep set fear, she had looked over her shoulder a couple of time while they had been out. It just seemed to happen less with Tony. She felt safe, and like her attacker could never get to her. She could only imagine how it would feel to be out with Gibbs, he would probably make her feel the need to never to look over her shoulder. He always made her feel safe.

Tony opened the door to Gibbs' house knowing that he was going to be home, and that he would leave the door open for them. As they entered the house Abby stopped dead in her tracks. In the living room stood Fornell and his team. Gibbs was quietly chatting with him, but stopped once he felt Abby's presence. He could always sense her.

Abby stared directly at one man, but no seemed to notice. She felt Tony's hand grip her arm, but still her eyes did not move. She had to tell herself to take a breath before anyone noticed how scared she looked. She tried to compose herself, but still she couldn't take her eyes off of him. His eyes bore into her skin, and she turned her eyes to Gibbs. He looked at her with a curious look before turning back to the men in the living room.

Turning back to her rapist.

No one would believe her, except maybe Tony. Tony had always hated that man, but she could never tell anyone. She heard the hushed goodbyes and then the men turned to leave. They walked past her, and several of them quietly gripped her shoulder. When she heard the door shut she felt like she was going throw up. Her rapist had touched her once more. He had given her a look that told her that no one would ever suspect him.

"Abbs?" Gibbs asked walking up to her. He grabbed her shoulders and caught her eyes. She said nothing, and he could see the deep set fear in her eyes. "Abbs whats the matter?" He asked a little more forcefully.

"Nothing...I'm just really tired, I need to sleep." She whispered finally composing herself. No one could ever know who raped her. It was to painful. With a nod from Gibbs in understanding she slowly made her way up the stairs. She returned to the guest bedroom, knowing that Gibbs was going to want his own bed to sleep in. But she couldn't help but feel like a hole had been punched in her stomach. She desired to return to his bedroom, but knew that was out of the question. They weren't a couple, and never would be.

* * *

Gibbs watched Abby go before turning to look at Tony. Tony looked just as shocked at the fear that had set in Abby as he was. He was grateful for that in some way, because that meant that nothing had happened when they had gone to dinner. Even that was better then not knowing what had happened. It meant that she most likely just remembered something from her attack. Because he knew that she had blocked parts of it out. Which was probably the reason she didn't remember who her attacker was.

"I better head out." Tony said motioning with his hand to the door. He had things to do, places to be. Well, not really but the situation right now was just awkward. Gibbs just nodded his head in acknowledgment, and Tony left the house as quietly as possible. Not wanting to wake Abby if she was already sleeping. Which he didn't doubt one bit.

Gibbs waited until he heard Tony leave the driveway, before he grabbed his book and made his way up the stairs. He grabbed the lawn chair he had pulled out of the garage, and entered the guest bedroom where he saw the goth sleeping. He settled himself in the chair for the night, and slipped on his reading glasses. He wasn't going to let Abby out of his sight, she had to many nightmares that he seemed t need to hush her for. It was easier to be in close to her.

It wasn't long before he to was snoring, his book forgotten in his lap.

* * *

**Just a short and sweet chapter :D**

**Okay, so being realistic Gibbs would most likely not sleep in the same bed.**

**He is most obviously in love, but still...Real life here.**

**Please REVIEW!**

**Love you all 3**

**- Josie  
**


	5. Rule 51

**Thanks for all the reviews!! :D

* * *

**He was a man that had gotten away with the impossible. He had risked his entire career, and basically his life to get the woman he lusted after. The woman he had wanted in his arms since the first day he had meet her. They had stepped off on the wrong foot though, and she had declined when he had asked her out. In fact she had declined several times. That had enraged him deeply.

He had to teach her a lesson.

He had succeeded, and she was now afraid of him. He had seen the look in her eyes when she saw him standing in Gibbs' living room. She had looked dead scared, and like there was nothing she could do. He knew that not to be true, she could say anything at any moment. He keep her mouth shut though, like he had sewed her lips together. That brought him more satisfaction then anything. Maybe she knew that no one on his team would believe her. It would be hard to build a case against him.

When he had left, he had touched her gently. To anyone around it had looked like a reassuring touch, but he and Abby knew that it was a reminder that he was on the inside. That he was watching her every move, and that he could get to her in a moments notice. That probably scared her the most.

Now he just had to keep her fearing him, and he would never get caught.

* * *

Gibbs startled awake at the high pitched screaming. It was about the fourth time that night, and it was worst than most nights. Something had triggered Abby. She hadn't relaxed after she realized it was just dream like she normally did. She had stayed tense all night long, and he had tried everything to calm her down. She still tossed and turned, trying to push away someone who wasn't there. It made his heart ache for her.

"Abby." Gibbs said quickly moving to her side. He didn't try to touch her knowing she would just swat his hands away, thinking that he was there to hurt her. He would never dream of doing that, he would never hurt the goth that laid next to him. "Abby" he repeated a little louder.

Abby stirred slightly until her eyes open again. Once she saw him hovering over her, his hair disheveled; she closed her eyes in embarrassment. He laid his hands on her cheeks, and felt the warm tears coat them. It made him feel the need to cry along with her. He couldn't stand that someone had hurt his girl this much.

"Shhhh..." He whispered once he heard her start to whimper. He held her close to his chest, and felt her heart beating in tune with his. He felt her hands gather his shirt material up, and somehow he knew that every night was going to be like this. At least for a while it was. She wasn't going to heal as easily as she normally would. This was affecting her, in more ways then he could ever imagine. He had broken his rule, rule number fifty-one. It was his private rule, the one that no one knew about except for him

The rule stated,

_Keep Abby safe, no matter what it takes.

* * *

_

Here Tony was. The world around him was changing, and now he was hunting down someone who had hurt his best friend. Something he never dreamed would ever happen. It did, and now he felt like he was going to lose her, and Gibbs. He would never recover if he lost Abby. She had been his anchor for a while now, even if Gibbs refused to admit it. He need that forensic goth, and losing her would change everything.

"Sacks." Tony said as he entered Fornell's office. That man stood standing next to Fornell. He smirked slightly before leaving the office. Tony glared at him as he went, but made no attempt at what he truly wanted to do. And that was to slap that smirk off of his face.

"Are you ever going to get over your grudge?" Fornell asked as he motioned to a chair for Tony to take a seat in.

"Maybe." Tony replied taking a seat. He smiled at Fornell who sat in a chair across from him. "You said you found something?"

"Oh yes, we believe the man who did this to Abby is someone who had easy access to her." He said. He placed his hands in his lap, waiting for a response from the agent that sat across from him. Tony looked even more angry by that fact.

"And how did you figure this out?" Tony asked quietly, his eyes shifted around the office almost like he was checking for the person who did it. Easy access meant someone she knew, or someone who visited her a lot that she never quite paid much attention to.

"Some details we went through."

"Abby hasn't said much about the attack."

"Yes, I'm aware of that, but of what she has says we believe that it was someone who had easy access to her." Fornell said quickly explaining how he had come across this conclusion. Tony looked at him with curious eyes before he stood from the chair.

"I should go now." He said quickly. Fornell just nodded gently at him, and Tony took his leave. He left the office quickly. He gently bumped into Sacks, but for once in his life he said nothing to the man. He was suspicious of Fornell now. Abby hadn't said anything at all about the attack, so how did he know? Had Abby said something when no one was around? Had she said something to Gibbs? It made no sense, but he should stop worrying about it. Probably just said something to someone else and they didn't tell him. It made perfect sense.

At least for now.

* * *

**I hope it was okay.**

**I know a lot of repeated ideas, but I'm thinking of some new stuff.**

**Suggestions are always taken!**

**:D**

**Love you all!**

**Review!  
**


	6. Why him?

**Keep the reviews coming, I loveeeee them! ;D

* * *

**

_Two weeks later,_

How could this of happened? He had been so sure of himself, and now he was on the streets running away from Gibbs. He had been so sure that Abby would never even think of something. He had been to trusting in her, he should of been much more careful. He dealt with crimes scenes for a living! He should of been able to figure out a way to get her to no see his face. But he had been to conceited.

His feet hit the pavement as he propelled his body away from the NCIS agents that chased him. It didn't work very well in a suit, but they were all wearing the same thing anyways. He had to throw his suit jacket at one point, it was to stiff to run in.

He streaked through the streets, weaving through the crowds of people. He knocked several children over, but had no time to help them back up. The only thing running through his mind was the need to get away from his ex best-friend who probably wanted to kill him now. As soon as that man had shown up at his doorstep her knew he was in trouble. He had that look of intensity that said it all. He had his gun and he was ready to kill.

After that everything was pretty much a blur, he had took off running, that man hot on his tail. He had shook him once, and that made him farther behind now then he had been before. He was catching up now though. His determination took over even his own fear. He knew he could never win this, but still he kept running.

"Fornell!" Gibbs' voice crashed through the air as the man neared. He didn't speed up, knowing that he had worn out himself to much. Who knew how long they had been running for.

Gibbs tackled Fornell into the ground smashing his face into the concrete. Fornell let out a gasp in pain, and looked up at him in rage. Gibbs had never seen this look from his best frie...from Fornell before. It shocked him even more that he was the one that did this to his girl. Someone he trusted greatly had hurt one of the best person he had ever met. This man of all people had raped someone.

Gibbs picked up Fornell from the ground and stated his rights in a daze. His whole body just went into the routine, and he tried to ignore who it was he had handcuffed. A man he never thought he wouldn't back up in a second. Now he was doubting all the trusts he had built with everybody.

Who could he truly trust?

* * *

"You got him?" Abby whispered slowly. She didn't dare look up into Gibbs' eyes, out of fear of what she would see. Would he think she was lying? Was she going to be alone in this?

"Yes." Gibbs responded stepping a little bit closer to her. She didn't move, and didn't let her eyes wander up to his striking blue ones. He stepped closer once more, and she couldn't help but flinch. It was a nasty habit she had gained from this whole incident. Even though she had started sleeping in her own apartment; with the team taking turns on the couch of course; She still a deep set fear inside her gut. "Abbs..." He whispered his hand reaching under her chin. He pulled her chin up so that her eyes were captured by his.

"I believe you." He said taking a small fear out of her stomach.

Abby couldn't help it, she burst into sobs. Why had this happened to her? Why did it have to be Fornell? She crashed into his chest as he pulled her close. She just let the tears flow, letting all of the fears of him not believing her flow with it. He had finally said the words that she had been waiting for. The words that made her feel like she could trust him

"Why...why did...it...have to be....him?" She sobbed into his chest. She felt Gibbs' arms tightened around her.

"I don't know." He said placing a kiss on her forehead. After awhile his knees started to give out and they slid down the wall onto the floor of her apartment.

That's where they both fell asleep.

* * *

**I had an internal debate about whether it should be Fornell or Sacks.**

**I decided that Fornell would be much more epic.**

**Even this chapter shocked me.**

**lol**

**Please review!**


	7. Fornell

**Thanks for all the amazing reviews!

* * *

**The interrogation room was cold, and seemed dark in a way. It held two best-friends, one who had betrayed the other in a way neither could ever imagine. The other hands itched to get a punch or two in. For his hand to connect with that mans face. He needed answers though, he needed to know why he did it in the first place. Someone just didn't turn into a violent criminal overnight. Was it something he had been holding in his whole life? Or was it something that had surfaced after a traumatic event.

"Just tell me why." Gibbs finally said, the pain of this whole situtaion evident in his voice. That was all he needed to know. Then he could he do what he wanted, no matter what the consequences were.

Fornell did not respond him, for the first time as long as Gibbs had known him; he said nothing. His eyes had a glazed over look. He showed no remorse, or even a tiny bit of embarrassment. He didn't wish he had never done that to Abby. In a way he could see that he could care less what was emotionally happening to her. That wasn't the man he thought he knew.

"Fornell, how could you do that?" He said a little bit louder, clenching his fists roughly. Gibbs tried to look at the man that disgusted him, but he couldn't. He couldn't see the man he once trusted being the criminal. Being the attacker of someone he loved dearly. He couldn't do it. He heard a sigh from that man, and the shuffling of him in the chair.

"I was proving a point. You of all people should understand that." Fornell quickly said, and Gibbs looked over at him. He had a smirk playing around corner of his lips, and that only enraged him. The bastard was enjoying this. He was reliving the terror he had invoked. All the pain he had caused.

"Proving a point?" Gibbs asked forcefully standing from his seat roughly. His hands landed on the table in a boom, and it radiated through the room. Fornell didn't look scared, or even startled. As if he had been expecting it.

"She needed to know who was in charge."

That set Gibbs off. He grabbed Fornell by the shirt collar, and through him towards the observation glass. It cracked as his head clanked against it, and he winced showing fear for the first time since they had caught him. His eyes were no longer glazed over, and shown with the deep set fear he had probably been carrying this whole time.

"You don't deserve to live." Gibbs sneered connecting his fist into Fornell's face, once, twice. It was that time that arms were pulling him off of the man. Dragging him from the room. It was all a blur. Soon he was in his car, and Tony was driving him home. He could see the blood on his knuckles. He could see Tony talking, but still he heard nothing. It was all going by so fast.

He had been in one place, now he was somewhere else.

By the time they arrived home, Abby was already at the door with a first aid kit in hand. She knew that this was going to happen, in ways Gibbs was to predictable. He never let anyone in his team get hurt, and not take care of it himself. It was just in his nature, and because of that he got in trouble. She couldn't even imagine have it being your friend doing all the damage. She would be so angry at that person, she couldn't possibly blame Gibbs for wailing of Fornell.

Fornell.

Gibbs slowly got out of the car in time to see Abby having to brace herself on the door frame. That happened when she thought to much about what had happened. She wasn't healed, and she still had her rough days. This was one of them. He rushed up to the doorstep forgetting all about the blood that stayed on his knuckles. Abby braced her body against his as he rushed her over the couch. Once she got her settled, she look slightly ashamed in herself.

"I was supposed to help you." She quickly explained to him, and it only made him chuckle under his breath. "It's not funny." She added her little lip jutting out in a doggy face. He kissed her forehead quickly then looked into her eyes.

"You don't need to worry about anything." He said smiling at her. She still looked slightly upset but still gave him a small smile in return. He handed her the first aid kit to make her feel better. She patched up his hands before falling asleep on his shoulder as she so commonly did. He carried her upstairs before returning to the basement.

Bourbon in hand.

* * *

**I'm running out of ideas**

**D:**

**Please review!**

**Give me ideas?**

**- Josie  
**


	8. Sense of Duty

For every person their loyal to a god, a country, a leader, etc. It doesn't matter what it is, but a human has a sense of duty towards something. Most find it to be towards their country, or who they believe is their leader. It is probably the country you were born, the one you were raised to love.

For others it is not.

Sense of duty, is something all humans live with. No matter if they think their avoiding it.

* * *

Weeks passed, and eventually the trial came into play. Gibbs was a very convincing man, and Fornell plead guilty. It was a huge relief to Abby, but she tried not to figure out how Gibbs had convinced him. She guessed it probably involved the way he liked to deal with politics. Simply put, it isn't pretty. Like he always said, that was the reason he would never be the director. They both knew it was because his heart would never be in it. His passion was being a field agent.

That's what was going to ruin everything.

"Undercover?" Gibbs asked skeptical. Since when was he sent on undercover missions? He couldn't remember the last long term mission he had been on. That was a lie, but recently anyways. He could clearly remember every mission he had ever been on, but he couldn't let his mind linger there for long.

"Your the only one on the team qualified to do this."

The voice has long lost it's effects of him

"I'm needed here." He said. He tried his hardest to not think about what could happen to Abby while he was gone. She was getting better, but she still needed a lot of healing. He was the one planning on doing it.

"You caught her rapist, and this op could save many lives." Vance was being very persistent. What was up with that? Even he knew that when Gibbs declined, he didn't change his mind. He had a right to decline the op, but Vance was making it so that he couldn't. His eyes showed that he had no option.

Gibbs had no option but to accept.

* * *

"No, Vance can't do that to the team." Abby's voice was strong, and her anger obvious.

"Abs, It's going to be okay. I'll be back in a year at the most, a few months the least." Gibbs said momentarily stopping packing his stuff so that he could walk over to where she sat. She had a pouting face, and her bottom lip stuck out slightly. Gibbs tapped it with his thumb quickly, seeing a smile cross her face only to be dropped once more.

"Your needed here." She said adverting her eyes away from him. Yes, he was needed here. It wasn't something he could stop though. Abby was going to have to fend for herself for awhile, and hopefully she would be okay. He would trust DiNozzo, and if he failed, then he would take care of that when he came back.

"I'm needed there." He said quickly kneeling in front of her despite the protest from his knees. He didn't believe that, but he needed to leave Abby with some kind of hope. After what had been a long conversation with Vance, his sense of duty had finally kicked in. Thousands were dying from this drug trafficking group. Mostly Marines. Bad drugs, that had been cut wrong and killed people who used them. The drug was mainly used for athletic performance improvement. It wasn't quite steroids though. The Marines wanted it stop, so they came to NCIS.

Abby said nothing, just got up from the bed and left. He heard the front door slam after her. He didn't go after her, no he couldn't. If he went after her he would break down and get out of the op. He now knew that he couldn't do that. He would be saving more lives by going on the op. Even if he had to sacrifice the trust of someone he loved dearly. It was hard, but he knew he had to do it.

Gibbs returned to his packing, only packing things that a hardened street dealer would be out seen with. Yes he would be old for one, but his cover story was that he had been running an underground drug dealing business that had just collapsed. He needed money, so he was going to join forces with this group. It was easy to believe and he could get it down. Undercover ops were something he was good at. Maybe it was his acting, maybe it was his ability to get people to trust him. Something he had acquired over the years.

Who knows.

* * *

**Please Review!**

**I'd like to know your thoughts.**

**Been busy with the end of school.**

**Ideas?  
**


	9. Surviving

**The reviews are amazing, keep them coming! (:**

* * *

The sun was fading behind the mountain, the light reflecting off of the lake in front of him. It created colors that were vibrant and something that reminded him of Abby. A lot of things reminded him of her lately. They go places, and sometimes he would have to act like he had a headache. All because things reminded him of her. Her beauty, her attitude, her smile. All the things he loves about her, and hadn't seen for months. Three long months, and he didn't know how she was doing, or even if she was still working at NCIS. He didn't know if the team was holding up, didn't know what he would come back to. That was still months off though. No one knew how long it was before he would crack this op. No one knew how long he had to keep dealing drugs to teenagers looking to make sports team, and become school legends. To Marines who didn't quite cut it anymore.

It could never end fast enough.

Gibbs had seen teens dying on the streets from drug overdoses, and he couldn't help but feel responsible. Even though those weren't the drugs he was dealing, he still felt like it was his fault. He couldn't turn and change his mind. He was deep undercover, deeper then anyone else had gotten before. He had made allies and had people who trusted him. No one even had a hint that he was working for NCIS. He had hidden his 'cop' exterior with ease. From the moment he stepped into the room with his future 'friends', they had trusted him. He had always wondered why, but never questioned it. He just went along with it, and hoped that they would never figure out that he couldn't be trusted.

Slowly but surely Gibbs climbed his way up the ladder, passing people who had been working for this group far longer then he had. Someone liked him. He had yet to climb his way up to standing under the 'leader'. He had never even seen this man face to face before. He didn't even know his name. It was all hush hush about him, something everyone learned quickly. No one knew who this man was, and there were no questions about it. Someone asked a question, they turned up dead in the river; their faces so abused no one could tell who they were. It was just common sense to mind you own business. If you didn't, you'd never be seen wandering the streets again. Most people preferred to stay alive, while others let the curious side get to them. Gibbs had lost undercover agents that way. They had been stupid, even after he told them to keep their noses down. He'd go visit their families once he was out of this op. It was the least he could do.

Technically Gibbs should be someone cutting the drugs by now, but he was so street smart that instead he was chosen to lead the drug dealers. It was due to the fact that he had only been busted once, and that one time was only to maintain his cover. It would get to suspicious if he had never even been busted once. So the cops arrested him, then let him go several hours later. He had been greeted by some people higher up the ladder. They were impressed by how sneaky he was. They all had been curious on how he got rid of the drugs fast enough. With that said he lifted his shoe and showed a secret compartment in the bottom of it. The cops hadn't bothered to check his shoes. Well, the outside of them anyways. That made him highly regraded. and boosted him up the ladder once more. He still remained on the street though, watching over all the stupid 'ones'. He was allowed access to more discreet parts of the organization, and met some of the higher up people. Still not the one he wanted though.

Gibbs would meet that man face to face one day, and hopefully it wasn't with a gun in his own face. Hopefully he wasn't going to be begging for his life. He only needed to blend in for a few more months. He only had to survive for that long. He would see his 'family' again, and that he vowed. He would hold Abby in his arms, he'd head slap McGee and DiNozzo, he'd have those rare thoughtful conversations with Ziva. He needed to get back to the team, and his family. They were all he had left, and for that he was grateful. Some people didn't even have something that could take place of what they didn't have. Some when through life seeing what he had, and wished they were him. Even if they were a dysfunctional family. All that mattered was that he had them. That's all he could wish for.

With a sigh Gibbs got out of the van, scanning the roads for the familiar SUV he was supposed to be meeting. He was picking up some new dealers. They had lost a few from a drive by last week, so a new 'shipment' was coming in. It was a procedure that Gibbs had come familiar with, and he knew the car that would drop them off, far to well. Who knew how old the people coming in were going to be. Sometime teens fresh out of high school popped up, but they were far and in between. His deepest fear was getting a kid still in school, someone who couldn't survive on the streets for a long time. They would come and go. Luckily he hadn't seen that in all of the months he had been here. He was hoping that he would never have to see that. Slowly but surely the SUV with the new group made its way towards him.

Smiling, Gibbs hugged the man who was 'delivering' the new group. It was fake, but as usual the man didn't seem to notice. Both of their muscles were rigid, and it was probably due to the fact that they both hated seeing new young people coming in. It was their jobs though, and they had to live with it. At least for now. It seemed like this man was also undercover, probably trying to take down a different organization. It would make sense. It could explain why he was always as tense as himself, and why he looked sad when the young ones came in. With that being said, he could become a useful ally in the future. One would have to come out to the other though, and Gibbs wasn't planing on doing that anytime soon.

They said no words to each other, they had an unspoken relationship. So when a young teen stepped out of the SUV, a younger boy clutched in his arms, they both said nothing. With one look they both knew what the other was thinking. It was going to happen sometime, and Gibbs wished that it would have never happened. Here was young teen only fourteen or fifteen, with a younger boy maybe four or five, asleep in his arms. They both were going to be corrupted by this business, if they weren't already. They looked as if they had been on the streets for their whole lives. And that was probably not far from the truth.

"What's your name kid?" Gibbs asked once the teen made his way towards him. The boy just looked up at him, a deep sadness lurking in his hazel eyes. This kid had seen death.

"Peter, and this is Michael." He said clutching the small child closer to his chest. He was scared, and he was trying very hard not to be. This kid had been through a lot, and he knew how to act on the street. And that was to never show any fear. You'd get eaten alive if you did.

"Alright, come on."

Peter followed Gibbs to the van where he took seat in the back, away from all of the other dealers. There was only two other dealers, so he got the whole back seat to himself. He never did put Michael down, not for the whole hour drive back to the building. The other dealers laughed to themselves as they talked about how big this drug cartel was, and how much money they were going to make. Mostly to spend on hookers. Gibbs looked back to Peter a few times, only to see he had a glazed over look; one you only got when you were blocking out everything. The arrived back at the 'organization', and everyone was assigned their area.

Luckily some of Gibbs' roommates had been moved, and the kids were assigned to him. He was supposed to watch over them, make sure they didn't get into trouble. Apparently the leader of the cartel didn't really trust kids, something about them giving over information a lot easier. Basically, he was their babysitter, and he had to act like he didn't like it. But inside he was glad that he could protect the kids from some of the horror that this job initialed. He couldn't imagine what it would be like as a child. It was bad enough as an adult, and it must be a lot worse as a kid.

"You'll sleep here." Gibbs said pointing to a bed across from his. Peter nodded and laid Michael down on the bed, trying not to wake his brother. The kid was still sleeping, he must be tired. The road back here hadn't been an easy one. It was full of bumps, and pot holes. "How old are you?" He quickly said trying to break the ice. He sat down on his bed in the process.

"Fourteen..." Peter said slowly, he was going to test Gibbs. He couldn't really blame the kid, most people in this business weren't exactly trustworthy.

"Your brother?"

"Four, almost five."

Peter wrapped one of the blankets over his brother, moving to tuck the young boy in. It was obvious Peter was tired to, but he wasn't going to sleep until he made sure the younger boy was safe. It was something that warmed Gibbs' heart. It made him wish that he'd had someone to look after when he was younger. It might have taught him some well needed qualities younger.

"Lights out in five!" Someone shouted from the hallway, and Peter turned to look at Gibbs with a curious look. He didn't know how things around here worked.

"Rules. That's something you've got to learn to respect here." Gibbs said starting to explain things to him, Peter nodded his head in acknowledgment. "Lights out at ten every night, unless you have the night shift on the streets. You eat, and sleep when they tell you to. Follow orders, and mind your own business. The leader of the group is not to be questioned, and never ask what his name is. Don't speak unless asked to, and you should be okay." Gibbs gave it all to the kid in one shot, and he seemed to absorb it in one shot. He was used to these kind of things.

The lights shut off before Peter could respond, and he took that as if he shouldn't speak. Gibbs laid down, and listened to him shuffle around. His soft snoring entered the older mans ear, and he found it easier to sleep after that.

* * *

**Nice and long.**

**Please review!**

**Sorry, if that was boring.**

**I wanted to explain everything in detail. :D**

**- Josie (:  
**


	10. Not Without You

**Two Reviews? Thanks...**

**Thanks to:**

**deidi**

**MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
**

* * *

What if I walked without him? What if I ran without him? What if I stand without him?

I couldn't, I couldn't go on. Not without him.

What if I lived without him? What if I loved without him? What if I die without him?

No I couldn't, I couldn't go on. Not without him.

He left my sight tonight, and now I don't feel right. I can't let him out of sight. Without him I'm no one. No, not without him. He is the reason I live, and without him I can't go on.

What if I lie without him? What if I rise without him? What if I dream without him?

No I couldn't, not without him. I can't move on. I have no reason without him. He has left me grounded, and now he is gone. I'm floating, and he is not here to pull me back to earth.

Not without him.

* * *

Abby watched as Gibbs left her apartment, only leaving her and Tony in the room. He was really going on this mission, and that was the last time she was going to see him for a while. He wasn't going to be here. Not for a year. He'd left her in a state where she needed him more then ever. She didn't know if she could hold out without him; keep herself together until he was back. She didn't know what he was going to come back to. Was it going to be someone who didn't know how to live anymore? Someone who only did enough to survive, but not live? She didn't know, and now she just wanted to sleep. Sleep for days, even weeks before she woke up to face the world.

She couldn't do that though.

"Abby?" Tony asked reaching and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"He left me again..." She murmured mostly to herself. She didn't look at Tony, she didn't look at anything. Gibbs truly left her again, but this time was worse. And she had never thought that possible. She had barely survived the first time. He had always been her anchor, the one she could go to about anything. When he was gone, she felt bottled up.

Now she felt like she couldn't breath.

"Abby, calm down." Tony said as her breathing became shallower. He stepped closer to her, and she finally looked up at him. The fear in her eyes caught him off guard and a gasp was caught in his throat. This was worst then the last time, and that had been bad. Reaching for her once more he took the goth into his arms. Her sobs started and he braced himself for the future. He didn't know how long it would take Abby to get back to normal. It had taken long enough last time. Now was different, he had left her when she needed him the most. Right after one of the most scarring moments of her life. He had left. He was angry that Gibbs had accepted the mission. And he knew that Gibbs could of declined. What made him most angry, was he was going to be gone longer then the last time.

Abby started to pound on Tony's chest letting out her anger, and her angst. He tried to grab her wrists in an vain attempt to get her to stop. She just twisted out of his grasp and threw the nearest object. The picture frame's glass shattered at impact, leaving the picture inside looking like a sad remnant of what had happened. Abby continued to sob as her hands slowed. The hits became less and less. And soon she was on the floor, Tony with her.

"It's going to be okay..." Tony whispered running his hand through her hair. She sobbed quietly for a few more minutes, until it died down. Soon she was sleeping in his lap. Tony started to hum a tune he remembered from his childhood, from before his mom died.

This would be all for now.

* * *

**Here you go.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I love reviews...more then I love chocolate.**

**And that's saying something.**

**Sorry for a short chapter.**

**Threes day Grace was the song inspiration thing at the top.**

**- Josie  
**


	11. Sleepless Nights

**Thanks to:  
-Pinkdrama  
-power214063  
-deidi  
-Franella  
-MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-STLFAN  
-LittleSpooky  
-kionacreek**

**Thanks for so many reviews, you guys are amazing.

* * *

**It was only two a.m when the crying started, and Gibbs knew that he had to get the kids to quiet down. If they were caught making noise this late, or early; they'd be punished. And punishment in this place was not taken lightly. God only knew what they'd do to these kids, it might be even worse then the original punishment. All because the people here were sadistic, and the children getting in trouble would never be good. They wouldn't be right, something in them would change. If it wasn't already.

Gibbs jumped out of his bed, moving to his roommates. Peter was holding Michael trying to shush the young child. Nothing he was doing seemed to work, and a look of fear had set in the teens eyes. He knew what would happened if he couldn't get his brother to be quiet. Sadly, he had seen what had happened to another person the other dear. It made him question even where he stepped. Gibbs wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or a bad.

"Here, give him to me." Gibbs whispered, and Peter slowly gave Michael to him. The older man brought the young boy to his bed, and laid down with him. He stopped crying, and only whimpers could be heard from him. It was something about a bigger person holding them that made them feel comforted. Even though the boys hadn't had parents in years, they still felt the need to have someone to take the place. Right now that was Gibbs.

Peter didn't bother to say a word, knowing that they needed to be quiet. Gibbs was sure that the boy would have plenty to say in the morning, but for now he was quiet. The older man could hear Peter shuffling around, probably trying to relax without his brother in bed with him. Gibbs had seen how protective the teen was of the smaller boy, and he was probably not having issues not sleeping with him tonight. He couldn't be positive that his brother was safe at all times, even though he knew that with Gibbs he would be safe. A small fear would always remain.

Eventually they all fell asleep.

* * *

Abby woke with the hands of someone on her shoulders, and realized that she was already screaming. He throat felt raw, and she tried to stop her screaming.

"Abby! Calm down." Tony said looking directly into her eyes. She reached up and laid her hands on his chest, trying to catch her breath. She rubbed her hands gently over the planes of his chest, try to smooth away her hits. She knew the bruises that she could of made. She also knew that a few would mark his skin in the morning, it had happened before; it sure was going to happen again.

"Sorry..." She whispered, her guilt obvious.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not be sorry?" He asked still hovering over her. He knew that if he moved, the conversation would be over. They still had a good few minutes left.

"A few more." Her voice was shaky, and he could tell that she still felt horrible for leaving marks on his body. Hurting him.

"Don't be sorry."

Abby closed her eyes in an attempt to avoid Tony's. She wasn't ready to not be sorry, and by looking at him she would do as he said. She felt his hands travel to her face, as he cradled it gently. Almost like she was broken, and he had to handle her carefully. She knew that not to be true though. He would never say or even look at her like she was broken, he knew better then that. She hated being weak, and he wasn't going to add onto the looks she already got around the office. Even from McGee. That had probably been the worse, and it infuriated her beyond her normal point. She could stand the looks from people she didn't know very well, but when one of her best friends looked at her like that, she felt angry at herself.

With a sigh Tony rolled himself next to her, reaching for her hands. He intertwined their fingers, squeezing gently in reassurance. Her hands were cold to the touch, which told him that her nightmare had been worse then she had let on. They had happened so many times lately, that she just breathed through them and then drifted off to sleep. Like nothing had ever happened. It was unhealthy, and Tony knew it. She'd need to confront her fears eventually, and tell him what was scaring her so bad. He knew it was no longer Fornell, so that left Gibbs. He could never be positive without her telling him. He'd just have to be patient.

"I can hear you thinking." Abby said getting up on her elbow. He looked at her, confused slightly by the comment. He'd thought like this plenty of times without a comment about it from her. "You always think really hard after I have a nightmare." It was like she'd read his mind.

"Are you ever going to tell me what there about?" Tony finally asked the question that had been on his mind for months now. It was hard to imagine that they'd been going on for that long. "You can trust me." He added on the end for her sake mostly.

"I know that." She shifted slightly, pulling her hands from his. "You'll know someday."

"Okay."

Tony could accept that for now.

* * *

**hmm what's going to happen?**

**Who knows!**

**Please REVIEW!**

**- Josie  
**


	12. Trying to Feel

**Thanks to:  
-Pinkdrama  
-Franella  
-deidi  
-LittleSpooky  
-kionacreek  
-AJ From Palm Springs  
-Mad Eyes Army  
-MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-STLFAN**

* * *

Tony pushed open his door, gripping the waist of the goth in front of him. He had to many drinks flowing through his system, and he knew it. Why he had let himself get that drunk was a mystery to him. Drink after drink had been piled in front of them, until the bartender had cut them off. More and more of that toxic liquid had flowed freely down their throats and into their system. Making them start to lose a sense of what was right, and what should have been done. They were long past the edge, and it didn't look as if they would make an appearance anytime soon. It was going to be trouble, but they would deal with the consequences when they were lucid.

The door slammed with a bang once they were in the apartment; neither even blinked an eye. Tony's hands felt rough on her skin, but she could feel that even drunk he was careful. Gently caressing her lips with his, all the while letting her take control. His hands traveled up her shirt, his fingertips running across her spine. It sent shivers through her, and Tony could feel it. She felt his smile on her lips. Felt the way he enjoyed making her feel like that. The Casanova in him was making it's way to the surface. He was trying to pleasure her, and she didn't have a problem with it. Even though any other time she would have walked off, laughing at their stupidity for even thinking of trying something like this.

Abby didn't feel this way about him.

Tony had always been her best-friend, the one she could come to in her time of need. She had never looked farther into their relationship; until this moment. She had never felt the urge to let his hugs feel like an intimate thing. Never had she looked into his flirting like he actually wanted her. That was all still true. Up until right at this moment, everything they'd done was about friendship, a deep and trusting one. Neither had even been tempted into thinking if they could have a future together. There had been jokes along the way, ones about if they were both still alone at fifty they could get together. Both hadn't even thought that would happen. Pigs would fly before that happened, and now even that didn't seem true.

Even though Tony had never considered being with Abby before, it all seemed right. Both had never abandoned each other in a time of need before, even when things were looking the worse. When he'd been sent afloat, Abby had always been the one he stayed in contact with the most. Sending her postcards once a week, and emails every day. And even though McGee and Gibbs were still there, he knew that she had vented to him the most. In most of her emails, and even when he got phone privileges, she would vent to him; he would sit there and listen with the most attention he'd ever given anyone. Giving input at the correct moments. He'd always look forward to their conversations.

Over the years something had grown deep inside of them, it was beyond friendship but below a romantic interest. They were just Tony and Abby. The duo that could never be beat. The best-friends that anyone would envy. All because they had the utmost respect and trust for one another. More then they did for anyone else on the team. Tony knew at one point that Gibbs would always come first before him with Abby, but now he wasn't quite sure if that was true. After two times of leaving her, she'd put all of her trust into Tony. Ziva or McGee didn't seem to get any of it anymore. She'd been broken to many times. Tony had never done something like that to her, and he wasn't sure if it was because luck had been on his side, or because he thought to much about how to be careful with Abby. Most likely the latter choice.

Both were pulled from their thoughts when the back of his legs hit the bed, and he knew he'd have to make a choice about how to proceed right there. He could pull himself into a more lucid reality, or he could let things go were they went.

"I don't know if we should." Tony said tearing his lips from hers. His hands traveled up to cradle her face so that in a way she would be forced to look in his eyes.

"I want it to." She quickly responded to his previous remark. She wanted to feel some kind of connection that would tear her from reality for a little while. Keep her distracted so that maybe she could get some sleep tonight. Feel a connection where she wasn't worried about what would happen next. And she was willing to try everything.

"Okay..." He whispered seeing what her reasons were. He could see it in her eyes. She wasn't doing this because she was drunk and out of it. But because she wanted the connection, wanted to feel him without fear. If this was the only way they could make a connection without having the weight of the world on their shoulders, they would do it. And they would keep doing it.

With one last loving look Tony connected their lips again, before crashing them onto the bed.

* * *

**Yeah, so all you must hate me now.**

***Ducks flying pan*.**

**Hey! Was that fair?**

**Trust me, I'm an Gabby fan all the way.**

**But Tony's and Abby's relationship has always been interesting to me.**

**She's broken, and hes willing to protect her from pain.**

**I have many plans for the future.**

***Laughs wickedly*.**

**Please keep reading, and you'll find out.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**- Josie  
**


	13. Authors Note

***PLEASE READ***

**First off, I would like to apologize for not updating in a long time. I didn't have internet for a week, and then I went to girls camp for my church.**

**I'd also like to explain a few things to you. I'm LDS (if you don't know what that is go to LDS . org to find out, I'm not trying to convert you, it's just for if your curious.) Which is the reason I don't do certain things in my stories. I don't do swearing, so sorry if some words feel out of place. And I don't believe in sex before marriage (I will do this one sometimes, but only because I need it for my story to come someplace). I cherish my religion with all my heart, so I stay strong. **

**The reason I write such short chapters is because stuff comes in inspiration, it can either be a lot or not so much. **

**Also I'm only 15 so I'm very busy with certain things such as School, Teen Council, Student Council, Church, etc. And that could also be why my writing isn't very good. But please keep reading and I'll try to update ASAP.**

**Love**

**-Josie  
**


	14. Tevin James

**Thanks to:**

**-MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-deidi  
-Foundgirl88  
-Mad Eyes Amy  
-Franella  
-pinkdrama (Thanks for your inspirational message, I sometimes doubt my writing.)  
-LittleSpooky  
-purplemonkeyz48  
-STLFAN  
-dark-lelu**

**Love you all, your amazing and keep the reviews coming.  
**

* * *

"Hey, not fair." Peter said grabbing his book from Gibbs.

"Why? I think it is." Gibbs replied, grabbing for the book once more. Peter just stuffed it behind his back, and looked at Gibbs with a slight glare. Some people would say he was trying to be like him. And he was a fast learner. He'd even scared one of the newcomers that the older man had been training. Peter wasn't aloud newcomers again after that. Even though he felt kind of proud, like the young teen was his own son.

"It could be the fact that the book's mine." He replied smoothly, smirking slightly to himself.

"Fine, you win." The older man said, standing from his bed. He looked over at the teen once more before heading towards the door. Peter took that as his queue to follow, and did exactly that. He dropped his smile, and put on a serious face. Anyone that saw happiness felt obliged to come and take care of that. Making sure you were just as miserable as they were at that moment. Just as miserable as everyone seemed to be every minute of every day. Happiness wasn't such a common occurrence around here. It was something you just dealt with.

Gibbs gripped Peter's forearm, and dragged him along like the kid was a nuisance. Peter had got pretty used to this routine. Putting on a good face, well at least in a sense of that. He actually looked like he had a grudge against Gibbs. Glaring at him behind his back, just enough that people would notice. Basically it showed that he hated it, but the older man was in charge. It keep the newcomers and the younger ones in line. It also seemed to make people higher up notice him more. Notice how he could keep people in line. No matter what the situation. That could help this op to be over sooner rather then later. As soon as he was higher up, the more Intel would be passed on to the police. The sooner people would be busted, the sooner he'd be out and back into the reality he loved.

"Sit." Gibbs ordered pushing the teen into a chair. Peter looked at him with a slight glare, and Gibbs had to stop himself from smirking. He was to convincing for his own good. It was almost like an inside joke between them.

"Hey Leroy!" A voice called out making Gibbs crane his neck slightly. The man that most people called 'The Messenger' was walking towards him.

"Yeah Paul?"

"There's someone who'd like to see you." There was an edge to Paul that was making Gibbs' stomach jump slightly. Something wasn't right. The older man nodded slightly, but before he left he turned towards Peter. He slowly put down his ring finger and pinky, sliding it down to his thigh. With a swift movement he tapped his leg twice. The teen looked at him with slight fear, before hiding it. That was their signal that something wasn't right, and if anything went wrong he was to flee. Taking some of his clothes with him.

And something was definitely not right.

* * *

"Leroy Torence? Or do you prefer Leroy Jethro Gibbs?" A man asked turning around in his chair. He was younger then expected, only in his twenties. His brown hair shaggy and unkempt, his suit much neater then that. Gibbs looked at him, testing the bonds that held his hands once more. Hoping that they weren't tied tight enough, and he could escape this before it got bad. Not that even if he happened to get loosed would he get out. There were far to many 'guards'. And now he'd seen the face of the man that you usually only saw if you were going to die. And from the sound of it, he was going to die.

"You even have to ask?"

"No." The man replied smoothly, not even having to think about his response. He knew who Gibbs really was, there was not question to it. Why he was still alive, was an even greater mystery. "It's quite a shame actually...you had so much potential." At that Gibbs felt the cool metal of the gun on his head. He didn't flinch, he couldn't show the fear to the man in front of him. It would give him to much satisfaction.

"Can you at least give me your name before you kill me?" The man seemed quite shocked at the request, probably used to people begging for their lives. Promising not to say anything. That was something else the older man could not give. He needed the information that had keep him in that hell hole for months. He needed what he came for, even if it would never get to the outside. He needed something to hold onto, until his last breath. He needed to know the man who had ruined so many lives with his drugs.

"An unusual request, but one I can grant." He started slowly. Gibbs studied the young man once more, memorizing the contours of his face. "My name is Tevin James Johnson." He said quickly, turning away. His hand motioned something quickly afterward.

_Bang.

* * *

_

**Yes, I know I'm horrible.  
*Ducks Pan once more*  
Geez...calm down.  
This is not over, I have a lot to come  
So please keep reading  
and REVIEW!**

**-Josie (:  
**


	15. Shock

**Thanks for all the amazing reviews, and sorry for the late update! Busy Summer (:**

* * *

Abby stumbled out of the bathroom, trying to get to the phone. She would leave the pregnancy test for later, still hoping that it would come up negative. That she wouldn't have to bring a child into this world, into what she called a life. That she wouldn't have another person reliving on her, when she could barely take care of herself. No child deserved her as a mother, at least not in her current state. And she couldn't even bear the thought of giving the child up; her maternal side would kick in before that. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she gave her own child up, letting somebody else raise it.

Never seeing it smile, walk, laugh, speech.

Abby picked up the phone and put it to her ear; trying to pull her thoughts to the man on the phone. Slowly she realized who it was, and felt a need to pull herself together even further. It wasn't until McGee's voice whispered three words into her ear, that she felt like she was going to die.

"Gibbs is dead..."

Tony came into the room when he heard the crack of the phone on the floor, only to find a frozen Abby. Her face filled with nothing, void of any emotion. He picked up the phone and placed to his ear, finding a distraught McGee on the other line. Trying to figure out what happened. Tony sat Abby on the couch before retreating to another room. Knowing that whatever the young agent had said, had frightened Abby into a state of shock. She didn't need that information twice.

"What is it McGee?"

"G-G-Gibbs is..dead." McGee said, the grief finally showing in his voice. It finally setting in.

"You shouldn't have told her over the phone, you should have let me handle it." Tony said now realizing why she was in a state of shock. McGee should have known better than that.

Before McGee could answer, Tony hung up the phone and headed towards the living room. He didn't want to deal with McGee's excuses, knowing that deep down the young agent had known better. But the grief had taken him over, and his only coherent thought was to tell the person Gibbs had been closest to. And that had just happened to be the person who would take it the hardest. He didn't know if Abby would lose herself, or if she freak out after the shock was gone.

"Abby?" Tony asked sitting next to her. She slowly looked at him, and he could see pain in her bright green eyes. The little thing that had been keeping her sane was gone, Gibbs was dead and never coming back to her. She didn't have that light that had been helping her get up in the morning anymore.

"No..." She whispered trying to avoid his eyes. "This can't happen, not right now. Not in this middle of this..." She added letting out a shaky breath. Tony took her hands, and tried to capture her eyes with his own. Barely succeeding.

"In the middle of what?" He asked sweetly, giving her hands a gentle squeeze.

"I'm pregnant." It was so quiet that it took a few seconds for it to register in Tony's mind. And even after that it took even longer to process that information. He was sure it had to be his. He remembered the night they found comfort in each other, and until this moment he never thought to take it back. He'd never meant to put another burden on her shoulders, not like this. He'd never thought about the consequences of that night, what could happen. Now he realized that they should have been careful.

On a whim Tony whispered the only thing he thought was right.

"Marry me."

Abby couldn't find any words as the shock filled her face once again.

"Marry me." Tony repeated knowing she was going to need time to process the information. It was the only thing he could think to do. Despite playboy exterior he had been raised to marry a woman who held your child. And if that was going to be Abby, he couldn't even think of a better person then Abby to marry. They may not have the kind of love that people who got married normally had. But they had that special bond, where they could pull it off. They could be a happy little family.

With a nod from Abby as his only answer, he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. He'd treat her right.

* * *

**You guys are about ready to strangle me...  
I still love you!**

**Review!**

**- Josie  
**


	16. Cold, Bitter, Hope

Two days.

Two days he hadn't seen the light; he had been left to die. A bullet that laid in his head; slowly had been killing him. For two days. He had been sure that he was going to die that day, but somehow a bullet to the head hadn't killed him.

He remembered being dragged to the river, but was only soaked in the water. Then he was left on the shore, to die. That was the one thing he was sure off. Did they want him to die a painful death; want him to suffer? But why would they risk him being found?

The air was cold; it chilled his skin. But somehow he couldn't find a reason to care. The pain had numbed him, stripped him of any care he had left. He couldn't think of the world he was leaving, or the people who'd miss him. Would anyone miss him? Would his memory be honored, or would people go on as if nothing had happened? He'd been gone to long to even know if anyone still thought about him.

The world had gone on, he'd seen it. It had to, didn't it? His team couldn't wait him, they had to take the cases that crossed their desks. Slowly they'd all realize he wasn't coming back. He wasn't sure how they would take his death, but he knew it wouldn't take long for them to move on. He didn't know why he felt so hurt about it, it was inevitable.

People moved on, it was the way humans coped with loss, without the ability to move on; people become lost in grief. It's the hard fact of life, which is part of why people were forgotten over a amount of time.

Now Gibbs laid in the dirt, wishing for a second chance. Wishing he could make sure everyone on the time knew who he felt about them. Letting Tony know that he was proud of him. Making sure Ziva knew that he forgave and trusted her. McGee that he was a great agent. And Abby, letting her know that he loved her more then a daughter.

They needed to know.

* * *

Tony gently placed a hand on Abby's stomach as she lay sleeping. He couldn't believe that growing inside her, was their baby. In months time he'd hold a baby in his arms, hear it cry. It would be of his blood, and he felt excited no matter what the situation was.

"What you doing?" Abby asked quietly, stirring from her slumber. She never really slept until Tony was asleep next to her. It was something she had come attached to these last couple of months. It soothed her, and it helped her forget that Gibbs wasn't there for her. Tony was her rock now, and she wasn't going to let go. Not for a long time; probably never. He was her touchstone, the one thing that keep her alive from day to day. Showed her the reality of everything. She loved Tony DiNozzo, not as a brother or even a best friend. She loved him as something more, but it wasn't quite romantic, maybe even stronger than that.

"Thinking." Tony replied her, his hand slowly rubbing circles.

"I don't know how this is going to work," She told him truthfully, wishing that she was a more stable person. That she could be the mother her child deserved.

Tony sighed softly and said, "your going to get better, and be an amazing mother." It was his hopes and wishes speaking, if she didn't get better he wasn't sure what would happen. The only thing he could do now was make sure she believed she would, because without belief; she'd never make it. She'd never understand the gift they were about to receive.

"Someday.." She whispered at him, closing her eyes once more. Sleep was once again coming over her.

Tony followed suit shortly after her, his hand clasped in hers.

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter  
I figured you guys want a short chapter rather than nothing.  
Still sorting out my ideas!  
Please REVIEW!**

**- Josie (:  
**


	17. Lost the Will

**Thanks to:**

**-STLFAN  
-MirrorFlower and DarkWind**

**Only two reviews? :'(  
**

* * *

"This is a deal that you can't come back from, you'll be dead to your old life forever." The detective's voice was cold, and serious. This was the risk he was taking. To be stuck with these people for the rest of his life. Not to ever she his old family again.

"I'll do it." Gibbs said quickly, making one of the hardest choices of his life.

"Okay, Mr. Jethro Tanner, you and your kids Peter and Michael Tanner have a new life in Michigan." The detective said giving him some of the important information quickly. As soon as he was out of this hospital bed he'd have a new life. A new life with Peter and Michael.

* * *

_Two months later_,

"Gibbs!" Abby shouted into the darkness, dropping to her knees. He was here she could feel him with every inch of her being. He was waiting for her; needed her. But she was stuck, stuck in this one moment. Staring down the darkness that awaited her. This was her life, and she couldn't do anything about it. Nothing but give in, hoping that it would be easy on the other side. That she would be happy, and surrounded by the people she loved.

"Don't go." His voice was so quiet, she barely heard his harsh whisper. Barely heard the one voice she wished she could hear once more.

Gibbs was here, with her. She could feel his hot breath on the back of her neck. Before long his hands came to rest on her forearms, and she had to force herself to breath. This wasn't happening, he was dead. Was she finally with him? Could she live in peace for once? It couldn't be real, she could feel that at any moment he could disappear. Her subconscious playing a cruel joke on her. Giving her what she wants most and then taking it away.

She heard Gibbs sigh and say, "You have to go back, to reality." His voice seemed sad in a way. Like he didn't want her to go.

"But I want to stay." Abby didn't dare look at him, she was scared he wouldn't be who she thought he was. She felt his lips on her neck and then he disappeared.

* * *

"Abby, your awake." Tony said moving to her bedside, gripping her face between his hands. He looked scared, but also extremely tried. "The doctors said you might not have the will not to wake," he stumbled over his words, like he couldn't talk fast enough.

"How long?" Was the first question out of her lips. She'd been in a coma, and she wasn't sure how long it had been. It only felt like moments ago she was in the car with Tony.

Tony hung his head and whispered, "Two weeks."

Abby searched her mind for what happened, but found nothing. She remembered laughing with Tony, and then it went blank. They'd been in the car, so what had happened? Had there been an accident? Her hand subconsciously went to rest on her stomach. She expected to feel the bulge of her baby, but her hand found nothing but flat stomach. And it hurt. Just by laying her hand over her stomach she knew something was terribly wrong. This couldn't be right.

"W-what happened?" She stuttered out quickly. Tony's hand came to pull hers away from her stomach, and then he held it tightly. A grim expression on his face.

"We were in a car accident, we lost the baby." It was barely above a whisper, but it was enough to take her over the edge.

When doctors started to rush in, Abby was screaming and squirming in her bed. Trying to escape the reality that was her life. All of her pains from the last year coming to the surface. Her rape, Gibbs leaving, Gibbs dying, and now losing her baby. Her life was in the ruins, and she'd never felt more pain then she had in that one moment alone. Tears streamed down her face, as her screams died down.

Abby was basically in a wakeful coma after that. She did nothing but stare off into the distance at the white walls of the room. Tears occasionally fell down her face, but she said nothing. She had nothing left to live for, and she'd given up all of her fight. Anything tiny hope Tony had had left for her was shattered. He no longer knew what to do, and he felt just as broken. Failing Gibbs at his last wishes. That Abby would be safe and happy.

Tony had slid down the wall, and cried.

* * *

Gibbs shot up in bed, panting softly. He heard nothing around him, and wasn't sure why'd he woken up. But something in his heart told him something Terrible had happened to Abby. Something Tony couldn't, not anyone could handle. She'd given up the will to live.

This is what he'd been afraid of.

Gibbs had felt for months that Abby was having a hard time living without him, He'd mostly brushed it off for nothing more then his own mind getting ahead of itself. But week by week the feeling had gotten stronger until he'd finally sent someone to check up on her. She was fine; pregnant and fine. His friend had said she seemed happy. That she was going to be married to Tony in a few months. But had he caught the full story? Somehow he'd always known everything was merely a lie to make people feel better.

Throwing on his clothes, Gibbs woke the boys and told them to pack. He was going back to D.C.

* * *

**There you go!  
It's getting better right?  
Actual Gabby to come.  
Tony and Abby would never actually work.  
Please Review!  
-Josie  
**


	18. Violence is never the way

**Thanks to:**

**-SiriusDoctorWhoHoney329  
-gabbie  
-Pinkprincess74  
-pinkdrama  
-KellyRoxton  
-STLFAN  
-Nicky Reed  
- MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-Gibbs4Eva  
-Kirra Maree J  
-LostNight0907  
-BritMum  
-stareagle  
-cheether  
-LittleSpooky  
-fashionista-princess**

**You guys are amazing! I love you all, thanks for so many reviews**

**Sorry about all the angst that has been in this story, but I promise you all that it all going to change. And for some reason it didn't post this chapter, I'm sorry about that also. But here it actually is. Please enjoy it.  
**

* * *

"Mr. Tanner!" a detective called from across the airport lobby. Here it goes, Gibbs was going to have hell to pay for breaking the rules. But no one was going to stop him from getting on that plane, no matter who they brought in. They could bring in the president, and he was still going to get to his girl.

"Your not stopping me." Gibbs said once the detective reached him. No way.

You have to think about this, you won't be aloud to re enter the program." This guy was really going to do what ever it took to not get him to leave the program. No matter what, he was getting on that plane. He made that promise to himself.

"I understand that."

"Think about Peter and Michael." Now that was hitting below the belt. He had lied to himself, Peter and Michael where the only weaknesses he had at the moment. And the detective had just played to that. Now he had to actually rethink his decision. Crap. "They would be put in danger to."

"And I'm letting my dad take that risk." It was Peter's voice, and it took a moment for Gibbs to process that. Had he really just stepped in for him? Knowingly put himself and his brother in danger?

"I can't let you do that." The detective had just over stepped his bounds, and Gibbs got irritated. It was their decision, and he just didn't seem to get that. And it was obvious by the look in his eyes, he wasn't going to give up without a fight.

"You can and you will." Gibbs said quickly. "I don't know who you are but you don't get to dictate are own choices." He added forcefully. Gibbs faintly heard a 'you tell him dad' from Peter at his side. He really was a trouble maker, and he knew that would come to bite him in the arse.

"I have the right, and I will use it."

_Bam._

Gibbs looked down at the man, holding his fist in his hand. That was going to be a real shiner later. The detectives nose was already starting to gush blood. He heard a faint chuckle from Peter, and made a mental note to teach him that violence wasn't a funny matter. And was only to be used in the most critical moments. He had been meaning to do that for a few months. Looking away from the man, he motioned for Peter to go sit with Michael, who was now sitting up; looking intrigued in what was going on. He didn't need to deal with that right now.

"What the hell!" The detective shouted from where he sat, holding his nose.

"Let that be a lesson to you." Gibbs said without thinking. He shouldn't have said that in front of the boys. That was just going to make the whole violence thing that must worst.

"Are you on crack? You just punched me in the bloody nose!"

Gibbs backed away slowly, as the man got up off the ground. He didn't look back, just headed towards the bathroom. Leaving a trail of blood. Well, at least he wasn't going to bug them for a little while. There plane will probably get called soon anyways. Leaving the whole 'you can't do this' at rest for a little while.

Once they were all safely on the plan he said, "that was a bad example, and I'm sorry." Now that he had the kids, apologies where more in his language then they used to be. He decided he could bend that rule a little bit. It was the best for the kids after all.

"But it was awesome." Peter said quickly, smiling a smile only a charmer could; or Tony. He made a silent promise to himself not to let Peter spend to much time around Tony.

"I already talked to you about this, violence is never the way." It was like he was going against his old self, and sometimes it made him cringe slightly. Violence was the answer sometimes, it just never was for his two boys. He couldn't let them get in fights at school, could he?

"You just used violence." Peter replied matter of factually.

"I blew my top, I shouldn't have."

"Oh, you know you loved it."

"Peter..."

"Dad..."

Gibbs gave his boy a once over, then settled back into his seat. Letting the conversation rest for awhile. They'd talk about it later. Peter looked a little smug though, and he seriously considered continuing the conversation until the teen finally agreed to what he was saying. After a thirty minute lecture he usually gave in, but Gibbs had a feeling that he wasn't going to anytime soon. Which meant he would have to whip out a lot of other stuff; he just didn't have time for that.

"Dad, can I huv a rite?" Michael asked from his seat. His eyes were wide, and Gibbs could hear the snack cart coming down the aisle. That kid had ears like a bat.

"Sure, Pete do you want anything?"

"Apple Beer." The teen said keeping his eyes closed, he must be tired. They had left early that morning, Michael was the only one who'd had time to catch some shut eye. He was sure that soon all three of them would be sleeping.

Gibbs got them their drinks, and found that Peter only took a sip before he was snoring quietly. Michael had chugged the whole thing. Even for such a small kid, he sure drank a lot. Michael feel asleep sprawled across his chair a few minutes later, and another few Gibbs followed suit.

* * *

**Please Review!  
I'll try to update asap! (:  
I love you all!  
Still trying to work out the whole abby/gibbs reunion  
Thanks!**

**- Josie  
**


	19. Caring

**Thanks to:**

**-KellyRoxton  
-MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-Cheether  
-pinkdrama  
-STLFAN  
-DS2010  
-Jackie  
-At The Heart Of The Strom**

**Thanks for all the reviews! Your all amazing! (: P.S I'm really sorry if this story has been to short, but it is a short story, and I'm still learning, I'm only fifteen which means I'm not quite A Best Seller writer quite yet.  
**

* * *

Ducky looked in on Abby, feeling depressed at the sight he saw in front of him. Tony no longer sat at Abby's side, but instead paced back forth across the room. It was obvious the pain he was in mentally. He was thinking to hard, his brow furrowed in thought. Occasionally he would glance over at the goth, his eyes skimming her quickly before he continued to pace the room. He would stop every minuted on the dot, as if he had a clock inside her head.

It pulled Ducky's heart strings to see Abby staring at the ceiling; her will to live was gone. He knew that she was still in there, but she refused to show it. The worse had happened to the bubbly goth, something he would have never expected to. It was mostly her reaction that scared Ducky. She usually would keep on living, no matter how depressed she was. Then again Gibbs was a factor in this, and no one else had more power over her emotions then him. When he first left, it took her months to recover. And even after that, she didn't fully recover until Gibbs was back into the Abby's life. And now he would never come back.

"Tony." Ducky said moving his finger back and forth; beckoning the Italian towards him. Tony walked over slowly, his eyes skimming over Abby quickly.

"Yeah?" Tony asked settling himself at the older mans side.

"Go home, get some sleep. I'll watch over our Abigail."

"I can't." Tony said, struggling with the idea of leaving Abby; even if only for a few hours. His eyes showed he needed sleep though. And Ducky wasn't going to give up that easily. At this rate, the only time Tony was going to get sleep was when he was in a hospital bed of his own.

"It is needed Anthony, you'll be no help exhausted." After that Tony nodded his head in agreement, knowing the M.E was correct in this matter. He said nothing more, just walked down the hallway. Not casting his eyes on the goth he loved so much. Their love was something you couldn't place if you tried; they were just simply Abby and Tony. The inseparable pair. He knew they weren't lovers, not in that way anyways. Their act was just that, an act. They could claim it wasn't, but in the end everyone knew that it couldn't be true. They were just two people who had lost their way, and the ones they loved.

For Tony, he had lost Ziva mentally. And Abby had lost Gibbs physically.

Ducky took a seat at Abby's side and said, "My dear Abigail," He gripped one of her hands in both of his, sighing gently. "I know your there and that you can hear me." He saw Abby's eyes flicker at that, and he smiled inwardly. She still cared, and that gave him hope.

He squeezed her hand gently, and continued on, "You can fool the doctors, and Tony, but you can't fool me. You may have lost your will to live; but I know that you still care about what happens to Tony. This isn't healthy for him... or you. Please, all I ask of you is to continue on living." Ducky finished up his small speech and let Abby's hand drop back down to the bed.

Ducky left Abby to ponder her thoughts.

* * *

Tony headed back to the NCIS office, choosing to avoid the house he had shared with Abby. He wouldn't have got any sleep there, not with all of her things around him. No matter how hard he tried, he would just keep worrying about her. His mind was to busy with thoughts around anything that either belonged to or reminded him of Abby. He did okay with the reminded thing, but belonged to was a whole different thing. So the NCIS office was the only logical place he could think of.

"Tony, what are you doing here?" Ziva asked as soon as the agent stepped a foot out of the elevator. He looked at her, and debated what he was going to say. He hadn't expected anyone to be here.

"Uh...well..."

"Chew it out." Ziva said quickly, and Tony couldn't help but smirk at that.

"Spit it out, Ziva." Tony corrected her. The Israeli smile gently back, but couldn't help but feel sad that he no longer said her name like he used to. She missed it.

"Yes, then spit it out."

"You should go home." He said quickly changing the topic. She noticed it, but decided to leave it alone. He obviously didn't want to discuss the reasons he choose to come to work this late at night.

She sighed gently, "Just leaving." He didn't want her to be here, or he did but wasn't going to say it. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. But she knew he was leaving something unsaid. Something that was all to common lately.

Tony only nodded his head, as Ziva got up from her desk. She took one last look at him before heading to the elevator. But instead of getting on the elevator as she should have, she walked down the hall in the opposite direction. Staying there for a little while before she quietly crept back into the bullpen. She was shocked to see that Tony was nowhere to be seen.

Ziva quickly went over to his desk, but stopped short at the sight below her. Tony laid on the floor; curled up in a blanket she kept under her desk. How did he get to it? That explained why he had come to the office in the first place. Ducky must have kept good to his promise, and made Tony get some sleep. But who knew he would come to the office?

It made sense. Their apartment would remind Tony to much of Abby.

Moving quietly, Ziva sat down next to Tony. She slowly stroked his hair, as she watched him sleep. His life was so complicated. And it had increased in complication when Gibbs had left and died. Tony could only help but help Abby through it all. it was his sweet and caring nature. And something she loved about him. It had been his down fall this time though. Abby had sought comfort in Tony, screwing both of their lives up. Ziva didn't blame the goth or even Tony.

It was nothing that could have been helped. At least not a few months ago. And After Abby got pregnant, Tony couldn't leave her. He had been raised right; as a gentleman. Another thing she loved about him, no matter how immature he acted sometimes. He was a mature gentleman deep down, it was his true side.

The True side Ziva loved. No matter what.

Ziva stroked his hair for a while longer, before she fell asleep at his side.

* * *

**Hope you liked it (:  
I added some Ducky and Ziva, they needed to come back to the story.  
Some suprises coming up.  
Please review! :D**

**- Josie  
**


	20. Back

**Thanks to:**

**-MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-pinkdrama  
-Pinkprincess24  
-Gibbs4Eva  
-STLFAN  
-Misdiagonsed**

**YOUR ALL AMAZING! **

* * *

Abby opened her eyes slowly, suddenly thankful that Tony had decided to close the blinds, and dim the lights. She wasn't sure if she would wake and find him at her side. But there he was. The agent looked peaceful in his sleep, his features relaxed. There wasn't the worry lines on his face, that usually marked him; showing people how much he had aged in the past years. Showing that he was more mature than he had been when he first joined NCIS all those years ago.

With a sigh Abby reached for his hand. Ducky was right, she couldn't stop living. And after watching the team for a few days she had learned some stuff. McGee was the glue, and even he was crumbling. Ducky had aged. Tony could barely go on while knowing she wouldn't. And Ziva was still in love the scruffy frat boy agent. Something she hadn't seen just a mere a few months ago. She'd been to oblivious by her own pain, to busy to see Tony didn't want to be with her; but with Ziva. His pride was to strong though, and he would have never abandoned her. Now Abby felt sick to her stomach knowing she'd kept two people in love away from each other.

"Tony..." She whispered, gripping his hand. He stirred slightly, but still didn't wake. Gripping his hand tighter Abby tried once more. "Tony." This time his eyes slowly cracked open, and his body went rigid on spot; the lines of stress once again appearing on his face. He looked older.

"I'm dreaming." Tony said his voice disbelieving at seeing intelligent eyes staring at him. Eyes that looked slightly happy, and alive. It filled his heart with more joy then he could express.

"Nope, Abby has landed." She replied a smile finding it's way onto her face. Even though it was small, it was probably the best smile Tony had seen his whole life. She was back, his best friend had come back to him. And he could tell he was going to get the whole package this time. No more Abby that needed help for everything. "You in there?"

"Huh?"

"You in there?"

"Of course." He said, smiling. He kissed her forehead, and caught her up on her everything and nothing.

* * *

Gibbs stared at the boys who were sleeping. The hotel wasn't excellent, but it would do. God knew that his boys had slept in places much worse. He knew; he'd been with them for one of those hell holes. It hadn't been pleasant for him, which meant they'd had it about twice as hard. At least now they had some kind of happiness in their lives. And that they adapted well, he was sure that they were going to stay in D.C. Hopefully the kids would be okay with this area. He loved it, so maybe they would come to love it to.

"Peter." Gibbs said shaking the teen awake. He opened his eyes, but his muscles didn't move. Something he learned out of practice. "I'm going for a few hours, watch after your brother." Gibbs didn't think they'd get in any trouble. They were street smart, maybe even more than he was.

"Okay, go get her dad."

"Thanks son."

Peter had overheard his dad talking to a man on the phone, and knew that he was here to get a girl he loved back. The man on the phone had sounded older, but he wasn't sure who'd his dad would be talking to. He knew that everyone thought of them as dead. That had been the whole point of witness protection. After the whole river incident, they were not supposed to show their faces again. Now they were breaking all the rules. It scared Peter, what would become of them if the drug cartel caught a whiff of them? No one knew. But he trusted Leroy Jethro Gibbs. They would be okay, they could do anything. And that was the truth to his thoughts.

Watching Gibbs go, Peter sat up slowly and walked to the window. He saw the determination in his dad's eyes, and by the way he moved; he wasn't giving up for anything. At least not anytime soon. He would go through terrible pain before he gave up the girl he was going after.

Peter learned from his father, and hoped someday that would be him.

* * *

Abby was so happy to be sitting here and laughing with her friends. Tony smiled at her, Ziva smiled at Tony, and Ducky and McGee smiled at the whole group. Things were actually turning out to be better. She was glad to be caught up on what was going on the agents lives. And she was so excited to hear McGee was planning on proposing to his girlfriend of four months. At least one person had tried to move on, and find a little happiness. It made her feel good that she hadn't been holding back everyone.

Everything was perfect, at least until she thought she was seeing things.

There across the hallway, was Gibbs. Staring in at them, like he was debating whether or not he should come into the room.

"Gibbs."

* * *

**OMG!  
What's gonna happen?  
****Please review!  
- Josie **


	21. I don't know

**Thanks to:**

**-pinkdrama  
-WildFlower082  
-Misdiagnosed  
-MirrorFlower And DarkWind  
-ladysbugmomma  
-Gibbs4Eva  
-KellyRoxton  
-fashionista-princess  
-LostNight097  
-Callie**

**You guys are amazing! I could never ask for better readers/reviewers! P.S If any of you need a beta reader, message me. (:**

**ATTENTION ALL GABBY FANS:  
There is a petition online for the Gibbs/Abby Relationship. Please if you have a chance head over and sign it. (: Every signature counts. **

http: / www. petitiononline .com/ mod_perl/ ? gabby123 **(Remember to get rid of the spaces ;D)**

* * *

"Gibbs." Abby said suddenly, her eyes glazing over slightly. She must be seeing things, otherwise how could it be real? He was dead. She'd been told by many people. It couldn't really be true, she was insane. Maybe the car accident really had done some damage on her brain. But it was happening. Even Tony looked shocked at what he was seeing.

"Gibbs." Tony growled jumping from his seat. For some reason Tony didn't seem to even doubt it for a second, as if he hadn't believe it from the beginning. Everyone in the room looked fazed except for one, Ducky. He looked more scared for Gibbs than he did fazed. He had known, and of this Abby was sure.

Tony was out of the room before anyone could say something. The anger was evident on his face, he was out for blood. Tony had purpose in his poise, he was like an animal ready for the attack. Nothing was going to stop him. Even if Abby tried, she couldn't penetrate that bubble he had surrounded herself. But it was like she watching a T.V show, she had no control over what was going to happened. She didn't even feel like it was real, but some story someone had cleverly written that she just played a part in.

When Tony's fist made contact with Gibbs' jaw, Ziva was out of her seat. Ducky looked even more frightened than he had before. The only thing that shocked Abby was the fact that Gibbs didn't fight back. He was taking every punch that was thrown at him, not even bothering to block the hits. He was acting like he deserved the hits, and Abby suddenly knew why. He was blaming himself for what had happened to her.

Abby jumped out of the bed, and ran out of the room. "Stop!" She yelled at Tony, and he did. His hand was poised over the older mans head, and he had a grip on his collar. But he stopped. Gibbs' breathing looked shallow, and he almost looked like he was crying. His nose was broken and bloody; his lips cracked, and he had bruises that were already forming on his face.

"Tony, stop." Abby said barely above a whisper, approaching slowly. It was like approaching a child that was throwing a tantrum.

Tony dropped Gibbs to the ground. "Oh god, Abby. I don't know what happened." He said. He looked tired, and more worn than he had a few minutes ago. Ziva appeared at Abby's side, and with a nod she moved to pull Tony away.

"Gibbs?" Abby asked once she felt alone with the older man. He looked up at her, his eyes shining with sorrow. He was begging for forgiveness. She'd seen that look before, but this was the first time she'd seen it on the man she had trusted with her life.

Abby keeled at his side, and examined his face. He tried to turn his head away from her, not wanting to show the damage Tony inflicted on him. But with a direct order to show her, he turned his head back to her. He hadn't said a word yet, but she already knew everything he had wanted to say. There connection was so strong, as if it had grown while they were apart.

"Why did you leave me?" She finally asked. Looking at the wounded man made her feel less angry with him, but the anger was still there. She needed to know why he had left her, he could have said no to that mission. But he left her when she had needed him most.

Gibbs sighed, "I-I...don't know."

"Well, talk to me when you do know. Because I need to know." With that the goth stood up and left the wounded man on the floor. She wasn't ready for this discussion, and wouldn't be ready until he had a real and true answer. That's all she needed from him, and he wouldn't give it to her. No, she wasn't read for that.

Abby wasn't sure would ever be ready for him if he couldn't explain himself.

Ducky helped the older man up off the floor, and steered him towards the elevator. What he had just witnessed told him that Abby had tried to talk to him, and Gibbs hadn't given her the answer she wanted. Something that was to be expected from Gibbs, Ducky had been with his friend through all but one of his wives. And they'd all left for the same reason; Gibbs didn't talk. He didn't talk about anything, and when he did; he said the wrong thing. At least according to his ex-wives that was the case. But Abby had always been different. She'd taken all of Gibbs' faults in stride.

Things were different now.

Abby needed someone she could talk to, someone who would be 100 percent truthful with her. Gibbs had a hard time with that, he always felt the need to lie to make someone feel better. Or to cover up his own feelings, and that usually led to misery. His point of view was that if no one knew, no one could take it from him; degrade it.

Once in the elevator, Gibbs spook. "She's changed." Gibbs told Ducky, almost smiling.

"Well, you can't always expect her to take your way of hiding things, well." Ducky told his old friend, smiling gently. Gibbs always had a way to put some humor into it.

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this, Duck." The sorrow returned once more, sparkling in his eyes.

Ducky sighed, "What can you expect? Tony is very protective of Abby now. They bonded in a way you can't understand."

"But I want to." Gibbs interrupted. He wanted more than anything to have been sharing that with his Abby.

"Well about time you realized that Jethro. I believe you've been in love with our Abigail far longer than you realized." The older man said bluntly. It was very Ducky, and Gibbs had missed that.

Gibbs smiled, "Thanks for sharing."

"Just remember, Abby isn't going to forgive quickly. Her heart has been broken, she just lost her baby. Plus, Tony isn't going to be the easiest person to get through."

"I'll remember that, thanks Duck." With that the two of them hugged, something that hadn't happened in a long time. Ducky was one of the rare recipients of a hug from him. He'd been his best friend for so long, he sometimes felt as if they were brothers.

:Now, lets go get you cleaned up." Ducky said once the elevator doors opened.

* * *

**How was that?  
I know, not exactly the reniuion you wanted  
But it gets better!  
I'm sad to say there is only a few chapters left.**

Please Review!  


**-Josie  
**


	22. His world

_ I walk alone_  
_ Think of home_  
_ Memories of long ago_  
_ No one knows I lost my soul long ago_

_ Lied too much_  
_ She said that she's had enough_  
_ Am I too much_  
_ She said that she's had enough_

_ Standing on my own_  
_ Remembering the one I left at home_  
_ Forget about the life I used to know_  
_ Forget about the one I left at home_

_ I need to run far away_  
_ Can't go back to that place_  
_ Like she told me_  
_ I'm just a big disgrace

* * *

_Gibbs wasn't sure where he ended up in the week that followed. He was thinking; he was thinking of her. He had been sure that she would welcome him back with open arms. But he'd been wrong, and it was killing him. She wouldn't even see him, and Tony had made sure that rule was enforced. If he so much as showed up in the hospital; Tony appeared, only being held back by Ziva.

Gibbs hadn't seen Abby's beautiful eyes since that moment a week ago.

The world he had surrounded himself in was cold. The sun only shining when Peter decided to try and cheer up his surrogate father. And even them only for a few moments. Gibbs vaguely remembered Ducky moving them into his house. The boys instantly grew attached to the older man. They say at his feet for hours listening about stories of his childhood. It been a long time since his old friend had had an audience like that. Gibbs had once been intrigued in his stories, but soon he'd heard them all, and he grew tired of them.

"Jethro, would you like to accompany us?" Ducky asked one day. Gibbs had only shook his head returning to the 'work' he had been doing. A work that Ducky knew was the only thing he could think about. He had to get his girl back.

Ducky knew he needed time, but he wasn't sure if the boys could survive much longer on the edge of his cold world.

* * *

"Where's my daddy?" Michael asked as the three of them walked down the road. Peter looked up at Ducky for help, but even the older man was stuck for words. He knew Peter knew the truth, but Michael couldn't handle the truth.

Ducky sighed, "He's busy working on something." Michael seemed satisfied for the moment, while Peter looked relieved. Even such a strong teen couldn't handle everything that was thrown at his life. Especially when it came to his younger brother, who yet couldn't handle the whole world. It was a miracle he'd been shielded from it this long. Peter had a list of stories almost as long as Ducky's at such a long age. The older man was happy that Gibbs had pulled them out of that world.

"Is my dad going to be okay?" Peter asked watching his younger brother playing on the swing. He was so happy.

"In time."

"Don't give me an 'I'm an old man and I'm wise' answer. I'm old enough to know the truth. I've seen worst."

Ducky sighed gently, he was right. "Abby was always his rock, someone to hold him down to earth. By her telling him that he couldn't be forgiven easily, it crushed him." Peter looked thoughtful at what had just been said, and he wasn't sure how to respond to it.

Peter briskly jumped from the bench. He looked to Ducky, and than to his little brother who still played on the swings. His eye were still thoughtful, but he also looked like a man on a mission. Ducky wasn't sure what the teenager was up to, and the older man knew it may not be a commendable choice. If he had adopted to Gibbs' way at all; he was going to stir up some trouble. It was the Gibbs way, and Peter was now one. Even if not by genetics.

"Does this Abby lady know about me and Michael?" Peter asked suddenly. He started pacing slowly, thinking up a plan.

"I don't believe so..." Ducky said cautiously. He felt like he was dealing with an ex-con; give them to much information, and they'll use it to their advantage. Whether good or bad.

Peter smiled mischievously. "Good." He said before turning and running off. Ducky didn't even bother to stop him.

* * *

**Kinda a bad chapter.  
Please review?**

**- Josie  
**


	23. Sneaky

**Thanks to:**

**-MirrorFlower And DarkWind  
-KellyRoxton  
-ladybugsmomma  
-Fee-Fee  
-PinkPrincess74  
-MMWillow13  
-fashionista-princess**

**Your all amazing!  
**

* * *

"Who are you?" Tony asked placing a hand on Peter's shoulder. The teen could see a girl in a hospital bed, and he knew who it was. The only thing between her and him was this man. A man he didn't know. And someone Peter suspected was the reason his father had come back from the hospital beaten and with sitches. But he wasn't intimidated; he'd seen worst.

"Names Peter Gibbs." It wasn't quite Gibbs yet, but he knew it was going to be soon. Tony looked slightly shocked but quickly knocked it off of his face.

Tony growled, "No one by the name of Gibbs is welcome around her." He told the teen. Tony knew that this kid had something to do with the man he didn't want to see every again.

"Okay, well can I just talk to her?" Peter asked. He shuffled his body and tried to manuver around Tony; without much success.

This time Tony gripped the teen harder. "No." He said forcefully.

"Just two words." Peter leaped around Tony quickly, before the older man could grab him. Peter ran into the hospital room, and made enough sound to wake Abby. She looked confused at why there was a fifteen year old boy in her room, but somehow she knew. He carried himself the same way Gibbs did. Like he would never give up what mission he was on.

Tony leaped into the room before Peter could say anything, and started to pull the teen away. He gripped him around the waist, and dragged the teen away. Peter tried to fight him, and made his body like a rock. His arms wacked, and his legs tried to keep himself in one spot.

"Tony, stop!" Abby shouted watching what was going on. This boy had come in to tell her something important, and she had to know. Tony instantaneously let go of the teen, used to following Abby's directions. "Leave us." She added, and Tony nodded his head leaving the boy behind.

"Who are you?" She asked once the older agent was out the door.

"Peter Gibbs."

"Of course, only a Gibbs would be that risky." She said chuckling to herself. She knew that this boy couldn't be genetically related to Gibbs, but also knew that this boy had adapted to the 'Gibbs' way. Something she had gotten so intuned to over the years.

"Yeah, well...I've learned." He said rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. He was flustered, something that made him different than the actual Gibbs. He never got flustered.

Abby sighed, "Did Jethro send you?" She asked, scared of the answer. She didn't think that Gibbs would go that low, but he'd changed. So who knew.

"Nah. I just decided to stop by." He said casually. The 'nah' was to much like Gibbs, and it pulled at her heart. Peter sat down in a chair next to her, and was intently studing his fingernails.

"I'm Abby."

"Nice to meet you."

"What did you come to say to me?" Abby asked knowing that he had come here for a reason. No matter how he was acting.

Peter sighed, "I'm not really sure, I guess I didn't think that one through." He looked up at her, his eyes thoughtful. He was studying her, sizing her up.

"You and Jethro are together how? I mean I'd never heard of you before. I'm assuming it happened on the undercover mission, but who knows. Maybe he has a distant cousin or something who died and left him a kid-" She babbled on, and even this made Peter smiled. He could already see how Abby had charmed his dad.

"Undercover mission, he adopted me and my brother so to say." Peter informed her. She didn't looked schocked, she looked like she had expected this.

Abby smiled, "Your father is such a compassionate man." She told Peter barely above a whisper. No matter how much she tried to hate him, she never could. She'd just go back to his qualitys that had made her fall in love with him. The ones that would alwas outweigh the bad.

Peter left an hour later, after making small chat with the goth his father loved. She'd lightened up over the course of their converstation, saying more nice things about Gibbs. She'd named the reasons she loved him, and the reasons she hated him. Maybe even without realizing what she had done. But when he'd got up to leave, she'd said one thing to him.

"Tell Gibbs I want to see him." She said smiling gently. She seemed nervous about the actual converstation, but also ready.

"I will." Peter said leaving the room, having a feel he couldn't quite explain. But obviously had to be satisfaction in himself.

Abby watched the boy leave, and longed to have his father with her. But she couldn't give in that easily, he had left her. He had left her with a broken heart, and he couldn't explain why he did. How could she forgive something like that? But even if she kept herself away from the man she loved, her heart would always belong to him.

* * *

**Another Chapter, another day.  
Heck yeah!  
That should be the fanfiction theme.  
Please Review!**

**Love-  
Josie  
**


	24. I love you

**Thanks to:**

**-KellyRoxton  
-ladybugsmomma  
-PinkPrincess74  
-DS2010  
-MirrorFlower and DarkWind  
-STLFAN  
-MMWillow13  
-WildFlower082**

**You guys are amazing. Keep it up.  
**

* * *

"I don't approve of this Abby." Tony told his best friend. He watched Gibbs pacing in the hallway, his eyes occasionally touching Abby. She still wasn't convinced by his lecture; she wanted to see the man that had ruined her life.

Abby sighed, "I asked to see him." She told him gently. He looked a little hurt that she hadn't told him, but seemed to understand.

Tony left her with no more words, and started to talk to Gibbs. Abby knew he was laying down the rules with him, but Gibbs didn't seem to care. He was just happy that she had finally decided to talk to him about what had happened. His eyes told her all. Once the older man had been briefed on the rules; he entered the room.

"Gibbs." Was all she said, when he stepped closer. She was at a lose for words. What she supposed to say to him?

"Abby." He said back, his body was tense; and he wouldn't move from his spot. No matter how her eyes beckoned him. She wanted, no, needed him close. But she couldn't bring herself to say the words.

Abby looked into his eyes and told him what she couldn't say aloud. He took the message and moved closer to the woman he loved. Sitting on her bedside, he took her hand in his. Her skin was cold, and she seemed lost. Gibbs knew that she still didn't believe he was really there. He was going to have to prove her fears wrong. He was here, and he wasn't going anywhere for a long time.

"I don't want you to explain yourself; I don't want you to say you're sorry. Because I know you can't do a lot of that stuff. I just want us to have a fresh start. I don't want the past to be looming on the future." She was quiet when she said this, almost hesitant. Gibbs almost didn't believe her, but when her eyes met his; he knew that what she said was the truth.

Gibbs smiled, "Are you sure?" he asked gently. He didn't want her to have any regrets.

Abby nodded her head at him, and sat up a little more. His arms went around her slim body, holding her close to him. He couldn't believe that this was really happening. His girl had come back to him, and he was never going to let her go.

What he did next changed their relationship forever. Abby felt his lips on hers, and at first she wasn't sure what was happening. He was kissing her, something she'd only dreamed about. She kissed him back, her body still limp. It was gentle, and not demanding. It wasn't like anything she had imagined.

Gibbs was being patient with her, he knew what she needed.

"I love you." He said once they pulled away. His hands still lay upon her cheeks.

"I love you to," she said quietly, just above a whisper. She wasn't sure this moment was real, how could it be? After so many months of pain, and sorrow; he was back. And she was welcoming him back. "But I still need time."

Gibbs removed his hands and nodded his head. He understood. She still wasn't ready for the next step, how could she be? He broke her heart. And that was something he was going to have to live with the rest of his life. Looking at her, knowing that he had caused her so much pain.

Gibbs sighed, "I better be going now." He stood, and couldn't look at her. Her eyes still showed the pain, all of it. "You need your rest."

Abby didn't know what to say, goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow? No. She wasn't sure she was ready for that. She still looked at him and remembered it all; remembered her lost baby. If he had hadn't left, would she have gone through that all? Probably not.

Gibbs left before Abby could stop him. Before she could at least tell him, someday she would be ready.

"Well, that's progress." Ziva told Tony. He paced through the living room, his hands in fists. He still couldn't forgive his old boss as easily as everyone else seemed to be doing. He'd hurt his best friend, and he'd been the only one close enough to see what it had really done to her.

Tony growled, "Maybe I don't want progress."

"Forgive and forget. I had to do that with you."

Tony stopped in his place and looked directly into Ziva's eyes. What had she meant by that? The only incident he could think of was Michael. He didn't know she'd forgiven him for that.

"I thought you still held that over me." He said quietly. He looked confused at her words.

Ziva stood, "Forgive and forget." She walked over to him and grabbed one his fists. She smoothed out his knuckles, soothing the pressure in it. She did the same with the other.

"You really forgave me for that?" Tony asked shocked. Was it really that unbelievable?

"How could we go on, if we are stuck in the past?" She looked up into his eyes, to show that yes, she really had forgave him. And it wasn't going to come back. She had forgiven and now she was forgetting. Something, that had taken a lot of time to master.

Tony smiled gently, and reached his hand up to the Israelis cheek. "You are an extraordinary woman." The blush the appeared on her cheeks was the only reward he needed.

Ziva wasn't sure what he wanted from her. He had waited for her to work through her pain. Then when Abby had become pregnant he couldn't leave her. Ziva had been left in the dust, and now he was back. Had he come back because Abby no longer needed him? Or was it because he needed her? She needed to know why he was back to looking at her like he loved her.

"Stop looking at me like that." Ziva looked away from his eyes.

"Like how?" He asked confused, he was looking at her like he always did.

"Like a love sick cat." That brought a smile to Tony's face.

Tony laughed, "Puppy, Ziva. And I'm looking at you like I always have and will." This confused her. She would have noticed this look before, wouldn't she have? It was too sweet.

Ziva pulled away and started pacing. This wasn't right, he wasn't supposed to love her. She was broken, she had been beaten. She'd killed many times over. Men looked at her like a piece of meat, not someone to cherish. But that's what this man was doing now. Was he fooling her? That's all she expected.

A strong hand on her arm stopped her in place. Pulling her to his chest he held her. Like he knew her fears. He was warm, and strong. She could feel his muscles clenching around her; protecting her from her fears. Showing her that he wouldn't try anything she wasn't comfortable with. He was one of a kind.

"What's the matter?" He murmured into her hair.

"Stop looking at me like that. No one looks at me like that." She whispered. She heard Tony sigh gently.

"I can't stop."

Ziva was confused, it was simple. Tony had never been known to be a simple man, especially when it came to his words. He described things. But he didn't express feelings, and that was one of the most emotional things that had come of his mouth. It was almost as if he had told her that he loved her. But he hadn't, he couldn't. He didn't want to overwhelm her, but by saying that; he had. It was almost a line of devotion.

Without thinking the Israeli pushed away the man in front of her. She started pacing once again, thinking about what he had just said. She didn't know how to respond. She wanted to run away, never see him again. She couldn't handle this, not now. Somalia had taught her that love didn't exist, only the hunt.

Ziva started to sob, "No, this doesn't exist." Somehow her hands landed on his chest, and he was holding her up. His own tears falling from his eyes.

"Yes it does." He knew what she was talking about, and he didn't know how that was possible. She hadn't explained it. Somehow he was seeing through her.

Ziva's sobs just got louder, "It can't…how can-can…someone do what they did?" The question was rhetorical; she didn't want to her an answer. So Tony just held her close, trying to fight away her fears. He knew what she was talking about had to do with Somalia but he didn't know how.

What had Salem done to her?

In the next twenty minute they ended up twisted together on the couch. Ziva, eventually drifting off to sleep, after sobbing for another ten minutes. Tony held her close, knowing that was all he could do. Knowing someday she would tell him.

* * *

**Tehe.  
Loved it, hated it?  
Thought I'd throw some Tiva in there.  
Please review!  
(:**

**-Josie  
**


	25. The start of something great

Gibbs gripped Abby around the waist, guiding her up the stairs to her apartment. She was fighting to keep her eyes open, fighting the sleep that was bound to come. She was exhausted, not ready to go back to her apartment. There was to much pain; to many memories of her and Tony. But she couldn't tell Gibbs that, not after what they'd been through.

"Here we are." Gibbs said quietly once they'd reached her door. He pulled out her keys, and unlocked the door to the apartment.

"Thanks..." Abby whispered tiredly once they were through the door. Gibbs smiled, knowing it was his que to leave. Abby wasn't ready for him to stay yet.

Gibbs sighed, "I'd better go." Abby looked a little fazed at that.

"Please don't go." She said, surprising even herself. She didn't want him to go; she need him right here with him. The plea sounded pathetic to her ears.

Gibbs looked down, "I have to. The boys." He explained. Oh, right; she'd forgotten he now took care of two wonderful boys. People he had to look after.

"Oh right."

An idea popped into the older mans head. "You can come back to my house."

"I don't want to impose."

"You won't."

* * *

"Peter, Michael I'm home!" Gibbs called walking into the house. He still gripped Abby around the waist, as if to stop her from running away. The patter of running feet told Abby that they were exicited for their 'dad' to be home.

"Dad!" Michael yelled running up to grip Gibbs around the leg. Peter walked in after his running brother. He looked exhausted, and tired of the little boy.

Peter smiled gently, "Hey Abby."

"Abby!" Michael yelled gripping the woman's leg. Getting a chuckle from Gibbs in the process. Michael had only met her once.

"Who's hungry?" Gibbs asked smiling. Michael and Peter shouted me at the same time, and Abby nodded her head eagerly.

This was the start of something great.

* * *

**There you go. Hope you enjoyed this story.  
All good things must come to an end.  
Thanks for coming along for the ride!**

**- Josie.  
**


End file.
